Who gives more?

“Excuse me m’am…do you have any bus tickets?  I have to get to an appointment this afternoon.”  I was speaking with a couple of our friends at drop-in this week when a quiet and somewhat unsteady woman approached me and posed the question.  I answered that we only give out tickets from the office and that there was no one there right now.  I was just starting to tell her that I would double-check that when Corie, one of the friends in the group I was standing with, reached into his pocket and gave her 2 loonies.  He doesn’t have much himself.  Each week he gets a bag of groceries from our food-bank and I know that the ends don’t often meet in his budget.  To say that I was humbled would be an understatement, but we see examples of generosity in the street community all the time.  At the office the other day, one of our friends gave his gloves to another because he had a warm place to sleep and the other guy didn’t.  I think we’re often guilty of thinking that we have so much to teach our street friends…but maybe…it’s the other way around.

Thoughts from Jeff…a member of our Wednesday outreach team

If you look at me, and squint really hard, I look like God.

 

Whoa! Don’t be hasty! Unless you ask my little sister, I’m not that cocky. What I mean is, I’m made in God’s image. If you’d like to use a different metaphor, I have my Father’s eyes.

 

I bring this up because sometimes people ask me what I do when I volunteer with OIM. This is an easy one to answer! I do exactly what God has always intended I do in every single interaction I have with any human being (street engaged or not): I try my best to look like God. Polish up that blurry image so that it’s as clear a likeness as possible.

 

So whether I’m sharing a laugh in an after hours Laundromat, debating the best legal strategy for a court appearance, huddling in a doorway to discuss the impact of Winterlude on the street engaged population, or peering into the corners of a market parking garage, what I’m hoping for is that someone will see me, do a double-take, and then see God.

 

It’s only fair. Because it’s a pretty regular occurrence for me to turn a corner, see one of my street friends, and catch a strong glimpse of God.

 

And I usually don’t even have to squint.

What did your morning look like?

Going to work this morning, I came down the same hill at the same time and saw the same bus going up the other side.  I got on my usual bus with the same driver and saw the same people going about their routines too.  Before that, I got up, checked my email…watched the morning news as I had my coffee and said goodbye to my family as I do every morning.

 

Routine…predictability…we might be tempted to see it as boring…but it’s actually healthy!  Of course we like to shake it up every now and then to keep it interesting, but mental health experts say that routine and knowing what tomorrow will bring is a key factor in your overall health.  The stress of not knowing what tomorrow will look like can be seen first in a lowered  immune system leading to frequent illness, and chronic stress leads to changes in the very biochemistry of one’s body leading to conditions such as depression.

 

What did your morning look like?  Many of the people we see at OIM woke up not knowing where they will eat today, or where they will sleep tonight.  Many don’t know where they will be tomorrow, let alone in a week.

 

Routine…predictability…doesn’t sound so bad does it?

Street youth work: What’s that? Really?

Very different indeed.  A bit hard to process for some, so let’s paint a picture of the reality of kids on the street.  Many issues certainly, here are a few:

Physical Abuse: most kids are fleeing domestic violence.  Hard as street life is, it’s viewed as better than ‘home’.

Substance Abuse: if it hasn’t already started, it comes into the picture big time when the kids hit the streets.  It begins as self-medication to try to deal with pain of whatever they are facing. Then it turns into a physiological thing and then the kids need to maintain so as not to go into withdrawal.

All alone:  Even though they hang out in larger groups for safety, each of these ‘tough kids’ is just a kid, like the kid across the street from you, who has HAD to put on an image in order to survive. It is a mask, necessary for survival. No support, no one to help, none.  None.

Violence: is a part of it all, along with ‘survival tactics’ that are less than pretty: prostitution, drug use with needles and prescriptions and whatever else comes to hand, even running drugs for the ‘boss’ man.

We deal with these issues, portrayed through kids who mostly never had a fair chance because of their background.  So we love on them, encourage them in the smallest things you can imagine, build self-esteem whenever we can, and really, just try to hang on to them.

Statistics report that there are a few levels of socio-economic backgrounds of kids on the streets, but guess what?  The pimps, dealers and other exploiters, really do NOT care.  They see a source of income, a piece of meat to ‘sell’, a means to their own selfish ends.

They come to us.  They come every week.  They have no other place to go that is positive, encouraging and supportive.

Yea, it’s hard work, and it really hurts sometimes, but we believe in these kids with all of our hearts.

 

 

Just ‘doing their job’? You decide…

A few weeks ago, one of our street youth was found drowned in the Ottawa River.  I can tell you he came from a broken home, with all the accoutrements that you might imagine might accompany that.  He left home when he was 16 and was ‘on and off’ the streets.  We have been in relationship with him for the past three years.

A few weeks ago another agency called us to ask if we had seen him.  Neither we nor they had contact with him for three weeks or so, and long story short, he was found in the river after partying at his 19th birthday with some friends.

But that’s not my story… There was a memorial service just last week, and many of the kids on the streets were in attendance to pay their respects.  Our youth outreach worker had to leave the memorial a bit early and noticed the two policemen that were waiting downstairs just outside in the hallway where the memorial service was held.  Imagining that they had come to pay their respects to the deceased, he greeted them and walked outside.  ‘Nice of them to come’, he thought.

The next day we started to hear reports about the aftermath of the memorial.  Apparently these two policemen were waiting for a specific purpose.  They had a number of photographs and list of descriptions of youth who had outstanding warrants, and were waiting for the kids to emerge from the memorial service to apprehend them and take them off to jail.  These would be for breeches of probation, failure to show at court, unpaid fines and the like.

OK, so the police are just trying to do their jobs?  Yes they are.

Nothing technically wrong with it, there were not violating any laws or anything.  It just seems to be a bit shortsighted in that it achieved a short term goal, but does no long term bridge building betweem the kids and the police.

I would love to hear your comments on this one!

What? Weather?

March winds blow, or it pours rain, minus 30 with the wind chill – or any combination thereof.   Only in Canada, eh?

We can look forward to spring, but it seems a long time coming.

No less for our street friends – not that’s the understatement of the year.

Christmas is a time typically when there is a generous outpouring of love and generosity to those on the streets and we are thankful for this.  But what about after Christmas?

Maybe we don’t think about it all that much, but the winter is a misery when you are on the move all the time, with no place to rest your usually wet, cold, freezing feet.  The laundromat is usually a good place, but it is often the case that the proprietors of the same are on the lookout for people who don’t wash their clothes.  The laundromat just beside our offfice entance is a good example.  It is common for the police to be called to this place, because some of Ottawa’s homeless population need a warm place.

In extreme cold -whatever that is- I guess it depends on whether or not you are in the cold all the time .  Street-engaged people are herded up and forced to go ‘inside’ (not the Chateau Laurier).  This experience can be worse that staying outside, because it is yet another violation of their persons (the force that can accompany can be excessive) – there are reasons why people cannot access services.

I guess I’m painting a pretty dark, bleak picture.  A bit negative, eh? But it is what it is – I’m pretty sure about that.

What then?  Well, don’t forget about those on the streets, even when the weather has some degree of improvement: the nights are still very cold.

Why not think about doing something about this problem?  You could contact one of the local agencies in your city and volunteer to do something.  Maybe you could give something – time, talents or money.  Stop and talk to someone you pass who is panhandling on the streets: you would be surprised how ‘invisible’ someone can become as soon as they sit on a curb with a ball cap and ask for money.  Give or not, it’s up to you, but you need to see that this is a real person, with a real story,  he/she is where she is, not from choice,  but from a cascade of trouble that they could do nothing to change (it usually begins with childhood abuse – how can we hold someone responsible for that?)

Give some change if you like – better a bill.  Once you give, forget about what will happen to it.  We hold people so very responsible for so little, when we are so careless with the treasures with which we have been blessed.

One thing for sure: we really can’t do nothing about this.  In our affluence, remember the  poor.

Make a difference.  Go out there and change your world.

Youth Art Show III

A totally unexpected outcome was realized at our youth art show just a few months ago, and I don’t think I told you about it.  So have a read, and let me know if you don’t think that this is the coolest…

The kids were pumped, everything was ready, all the art work was in place, snacks, interactive art table (the kids’ idea), it was all so special, so beautiful.  But none of it was really as beautiful as this.

I mingled with the kids, the volunteers, and introduced myself to some of the early arrival guests.  I had the chance to meet some people that I did not recognize, and early into our conversations, they identified themselves as parents, relatives, grandparents, cousins or some link of family members to the artists in our Passion for Youth art program.

At first, I thought this was very cool.  Then, as I met more and more relatives of the kids, whether on my own, or one of the kids would introduce their ‘kin’ to me, the degree of coolness increased significantly.

It had not occurred to me that the kids would have relatives come out to such an event (I am not sure why).  It sure meant a lot to the kids though.  Of course, some of the parents/ relatives were very interested in winning the bid on certain of the art pieces.  I think each was successful.  While they did not bring their kids home that night, they took a piece of them through the art work their kids had created.

In debriefing with our youth outreach worker, Jason, I mentioned that there was quite an interest on the part of the relatives of the kids, and was this an expected outcome?

No, it wasn’t really, but it made sense to me when Jason gave me a bit of explanation.  Most of the ‘events’ that the kids are involved in with other social service agencies in the city, have to do with such things as safe sex, harm reduction, drug use, safe drug use, etc. – which are exactly NOT the sort of things the kids wanted to sport in front of their parents or relatives.

But an art show?  Bring it on!

The kids were so proud of the fact that they were the featured artists, that ‘many others’ in the community wanted to come (and pay) to see their creations, that they were the centre of attention, that people wanted to talk to them about their art, their stories, their ideas – it was a win-win-win situation.

THAT they could invite their relatives to. 

Five of the kids had one or more family members at the exhibition/silent auction that evening. 

I’d say that is taking a step in the right direction, wouldn’t you?

Drop In to our Drop In, New Year’s 2011

A sunny bright first week of January and many greetings of “Happy New Year” were offered from our friends at the drop in.  New Years is just so much better than Christmas.

In addition to the beautiful day, some of our folks were only just receiving their cheques from December (some glitch in the matrix of ODSP/OW) on this day, so it was doubly beautiful (maybe more).

Our numbers are down a bit because of the cheque thing (a typical first of the month pattern), but we have given up trying to estimate our effectiveness through the number of people served a meal.  Instead we count the number of positive interactions our volunteers have with our street friends – more than ‘the Big three’ of news, weather and sports. 

Downstairs, there’s a couple of euchre games on the go, people visiting with each other, relaxed, informal – a nice place to hang out. 

Let’s ‘drop in’ on a few of my encounters with our friends:

I met Bill who is 19 years old and his sister Chaucery (or so I thought, until Bill told me it was his mom), and we chatted.  Two years ago he ran from a fight only to have a severe stab wound in the skull: “See the mark?” he says as he points to the top of his head.  We talked of a few things, but he told me he didn’t want to talk about his father, one time Chaucery’s partner.  Then, after about twenty minutes,   he brought up the topic of his father, and how he had been so severely mistreated.  Usually, among people who have been mistreated as children it is their fathers who have been the primary causes of abuse.  He didn’t want to talk about it, but then he did.  He had been diagnosed with some condition of mental illness (before the knife wound and somehow associated with his father), he explained, and lives with his mom.  Their hydro had been cut off, and it was a good thing I wasn’t part of the blanket-blank agency, or they would have some choice words for me.  They were going to make it, the mom said, because hydro was not their heat source, and their landlord had allowed them to have an extension cord running to a power outlet in the hall.  “We have lots to be thankful for,” Bill reminded his mom.

On the way to the coffee urn, Wayne came in and asked if he could have a hamper to take home with him (before the appointed time for hampers) because the service technician was coming to his new place to hook up a phone that afternoon.  Wayne has undergone a remarkable recovery from alcohol, drugs and the street scene.  He has been clean for over a year now, and has every intention of continuing to improve his life.  After many, many attempts to obtain housing, he now has a place of his own.  I marvel at what he has accomplished against overwhelming odds, as well at his determination to keep on the ‘straight and narrow’.

 Jelica, our managing director, put together a few groceries, while Wayne showed us pictures of his two daughters and grandchildren.  “Wow”, I said, admiring the photographs and smiling, “You don’t look it, but you truly are a rich man.”  He quickly nodded assent and told a condensed version of the powerful reconciliation he recently had with one of his daughters – after being estranged from her for many, many years.

“Thank you so very much for the food,” he said, and put the pictures carefully in the front part of his knapsack, and the groceries in the back.  “I’m off to catch the 12:10 bus.”

As he climbed the stairs out of the building, my eyes met Jelicas’, and there was a simultaneous sigh of gratitude and wonder at this example of a transformed life.  More than words are needed to grasp the deep significance of what was happening all around us. 

It’s all a gift from God, and gifts of God.

These kinds of encounters happen all the time, each one purposefully and intrinsically orchestrated by our Heavenly Father:  each one a display of His splendor .  Mother Theresa coined it well when she said, “We see Jesus in the distressing disguise of the poor.”

You should find out how you could be a part of this somehow.  Happy New Years!

Add a Homeless Person to Your Christmas List – II

Merry Christmas!  Just a quick note today, on the eve of Christmas eve, to invite you to do a last minute gift purchase - for someone experiencing homelessness – for someone you don’t even know.  Click on the banner above for more info.

AND, if you would visit www.chri.ca, you can listen to the podcast of the interview I did with the Mayor of Ottawa, Jim Watson.  This is not a political maneuvering or ‘nail him to the post’ interview, but an opportunity to hear our Mayor’s heart regarding the less fortunate in our city: how at an early age, he learned to care, what he is doing now, and some ideas how citizens of Ottawa (and beyond) can become involved.

Take opportunity today and make a donation.  We’ll be sure it gets to where it’s needed most!

Any Second Chances?

I spoke with Walter on the street outside our drop in and listened as he shared his frustration with the current state of affairs with housing in Ottawa – specifically how he has been unable to secure a place to live off the streets.  He is also pretty peeved about his inability to access meals in the downtown core, because of his past behavior.

He does not have any kind of track record of ability of keeping an apartment, and therefore does not have any references.  And, when he tells prospective landlords that he is able to pay because he is a recipient of ODSP (Ontario Disability Service Plan), it serves as a final nail in his coffin.  It appears that Landlords are not interested in housing people who are on disability, probably because they have experienced difficulties with others in the same situation.

But Walter is not the same person who was barred for three lifetimes from one of the service agencies downtown.  (Yup, you read correctly, three lifetimes!!!  What’s that?  I don’t know.)

The stigma that is associated with Walter stems from his past involvement with alcohol, addictions and violence.  But the thing is, Walter has not touched alcohol or drugs now for over a year!  Nothing.

Still, he is refused housing because he is on ODSP and does not have a reference from any landlord because he has lived only on the streets; and he is refused services because of events that happened six years ago. 

What kind of any chance do people like Walter have?  How can the stigma be broken?  Who will do some advocacy on Walter’s behalf?  Some people ‘turn over a new leaf’ in order to get what they need and then turn the leaf right back over, but this is not the case with Walter.  Is there any kind of ‘second chance’ today, when people can have a fresh start?

Walter’s determination to remain clean and sober, is an demonstration of courage and determination far above what I could imagine for anyone else in the same situation. 

What motivation or reason is there for Walter to sustain the significant life changes that he has demonstrated?  His journey over the past twelve months is inspiring!!

Long story short, Walter is going to drop by the office tomorrow.  Maybe he’ll find someone who will believe his story and do a bit of advocacy on his part: make a few calls, give some affirmation of Walter’s character and sobriety.  Then maybe someone will believe him.

If you would like to send some encouraging words to Walter through responding to this blog, I will make sure that he gets your note.  Maybe, just maybe, he will be encouraged through your words and our actions.  Cheers!