Posted by ken on September 3, 2010 · Leave a Comment
We see people panhandling for loose change all the time in our cities. It’s commonplace. We have come to adopt certain attitudes towards panhandlers and developed our own patterns of giving (or not).
We make assumptions about those who would ask us for a handout, and we have prejudices about the different approaches people take when asking for money. However we respond, we walk away and the next person on the sidewalk is hit for a donation.
Generally, those who ask, ask unashamedly, without reservation, boldly, maybe even arrogantly. Some have learned to hit the right buttons and tell one (maybe of several) stories that have brought them success in the past. It looks so easy, like anyone could do it.
That’s what it appears to be right now, but it wasn’t always like this.
What about the first times?
What would it be like to have no other choice but to ask others for help? When you have exhausted all of your options? You ask people for money: not your family or friends (that ended long ago), but complete strangers (who generally are opposed to what you are doing).
All of your resources are gone and you have hit the wall. You have no other options, so you do what you have to do to survive. Pride is long gone and the memory tapes of ‘loser’,’ useless piece of ____ ‘, useless bum’ – that were ingrained into your thinking from childhood come to the resurface, are reinforced and become your reality.
The first few times it would be hard – maybe the first few thousand – but it becomes a part of who you are. Blame, shame and desperation have become your daily portion.
There’s no way out. It’s your life now, and you get used to it. You get better at it. You harden yourself to the shame, and do your ‘work’. You know where to go, what to avoid, work the angles, develop the stories, and push yourself farther and farther away from who you once were.
Panhandling, it’s pretty simple. Easy. Straightforward. Right?
“Hey mister, any spare change?”
Filed under About OIM, Addictions, Alcoholism, Breaking the cycle of poverty, Dignity, General Poverty, Homelessness, Housing, Housing Canada, Housing Ontario, Housing Ottawa, Justice, Poverty, Poverty in Canada, Social, Street Outreach, Street Youth, Street Youth in Canada, injustice Ontario, justice canada, mental health, mental illness · Tagged with Alcoholism, break cycle poverty, homelessness canada, homelessness ontario, homelessness ottawa, injustice Canada, injustice Ontario, Justice, living on the streets, poverty Canada, poverty ontario, Respect, street work, Street Youth
Posted by ken on August 21, 2010 · Leave a Comment
I arrived back in Ottawa late last night and drove through the downtown area on the way home. I saw a man walking with a garbage bag over his shoulder and as I approached, I wondered if this was someone I knew. It was.
Eddie is somewhere around forty years old and has been habitually homeless. He doesn’t use alcohol or drugs but he does have some mental health issues, and a major story that has brought him to where he is tonight. He is friendly, can carry on a conversation most of the time, and is one of our friends.
I want to take you to just one part of Eddie’s life: Eddie is a walker. He walks. And walks. And walks some more.
He is constantly on the move, from one styrofoam cup of coffee to the next, from one doorway or abandoned building to another when he is ‘moved along’. He is allowed to most of the social service agencies in our city, but really does not access them. He has trouble, as I mentioned earlier, with mental illness.
OK, so I want you to imagine for a brief moment what it would be like to be Eddie. Not the voices inside his head, or the trauma that has formed his life, but something simple, that we can all ‘get’. The walking piece.
People who are experiencing poverty and homelessness are always on the move. Police, business owners and citizens all say, ‘Move along. Go Somewhere Else.’ (I have not ever located this place called ‘Somewhere Else’, but I have a suspicion that it must be pretty full by now).
Walking. No where to go, just walking. Heat from the concrete, frostbitten toes, soles from the donated runners separating from the tops and flopping, wet, damp, wet and even frozen. Not sure of your welcome anywhere, but a basic understanding that you are welcome nowhere (many good citizens tell you this, but the voices in your head confirm repeatedly). Some degree of danger, because when you are alone and on your own you are an easy target.
We might imagine some discomfort in our own walking experiences perhaps, but realize there is no reprieve here. No let up. No stopping. You can’t get another pair of shoes and dry socks. There are no boots available, just used donated runners – when you can find a size close to your own.
Where would you go? Can’t go for coffee, ‘cause you have no money. Restaurants are out. Drop in programs, maybe, if you are safe.
You just keep on walking, walking, walking. Endless walking. Keep on moving, one foot in front of the other. One step at a time, but there is no end.
Welcome to one part of Eddie’s world.
Any ideas?
Filed under About OIM, Breaking the cycle of poverty, Dignity, Drop In Services, Events, General Poverty, Homelessness, Housing, Housing Canada, Housing Ontario, Housing Ottawa, Justice, Personal Experiences, Poverty, Poverty in Canada, Recovery, Social, Street Outreach, Uncategorized, Volunteer Ottawa, Volunteering, justice canada · Tagged with Addictions, biblical justice, Dignity, drop in, Homelessness, homelessness canada, homelessness ontario, homelessness ottawa, Housing in Ontario, Housing in Ottawa, Justice, poverty Canada, poverty ontario, poverty ottawa, Respect, social justice
Posted by ken on August 6, 2010 · Leave a Comment
I walked past Jim sleeping outside the convenience store on my way to the bank. He was OK, probably tired from a late night. The doorway of the building he was laying across was vacant, and he was ‘out of the way’ at least, from pedestrians and cars. No danger. No alarm.
This is Jim’s ‘area’, I guess you could say. He would pan outside the supermarket, play his guitar for donations (or not), and generally was easy to get along with. He knew how to do his ‘work’ and got by – as best a person could get by, homeless style.
I have wakened Jim on occasion to see if he was OK, or needed something, or if I had something for him. Today everything looked good, so I let him sleep.
He comes to the office regularly, and we have gone out of the way to help him with recording some of his songs, created CD’s for him to market and so on. He appreciates the help, but he is pretty entrenched in his lifestyle for any radical change – at least for now. So, we do what we can, and wait for the day when he wants to make a change.
Back to the street.
On the way back from the bank, one of Ottawa’s finest has pulled the black and white over the curb just in front of Jim’s spot. A young constable, mid twenties, has the task of ‘moving Jim “along”. ( I have yet to discover where ‘along’ is. For sure it’s not here and not now).
It doesn’t look pretty. Jim is shaken up from his peaceful sleep, rushing to gather his things to the tune of “Hurry up. You need to move – NOW!” and other such pleasantries. Jim slips his foot out of his oversized running shoe and shows the peace officer his feet – black and blue and cut. “I can’t move fast – look at my feet”, Jim shouts at the policeman, who by now is donning his black leather gloves.
I stay and watch as a witness, in case something goes awry, but it gets cleared up. “Cleared up”. Sounds good, clean, and neat, but it’s far from anything even remotely connected with clean or clear. It’s messy.
I am grieved whenever I see this happen, and it happens all the time. Some business owner, or not – maybe it’s just time for a ‘sweep’ of our streets from city hall – whatever… it’s dehumanizing, degrading, condescending and sometimes brutal. It’s about the wielding of power and the power of injustice.
Jim has tried to get housing, but it’s not an easy option for him. He had to leave his last place because of the bedbugs. Lots of them – hungry too!
At the very least, there aren’t any bedbugs on the streets – just the police.
What’s worse?
Filed under About OIM, Addictions, Breaking the cycle of poverty, Dignity, General Poverty, Homelessness, Housing, Housing Canada, Housing Ontario, Housing Ottawa, Injustice, Justice, Poverty, Poverty in Canada, Recovery, Respect, Social, Street Outreach, injustice Ontario, justice canada · Tagged with Alcoholism, break cycle poverty, criminal justice system, Dignity, Homelessness, homelessness ontario, homelessness ottawa, Housing in Ontario, Housing in Ottawa, injustice Canada, injustice Ontario, Justice, poverty Canada, poverty ontario, poverty ottawa, Respect, social justice, Street Outreach
Posted by ken on July 23, 2010 · Leave a Comment
Harry has been desperately searching for shelter since he was released from jail three months ago. He has been squeaky clean – no drugs or alcohol since his discharge. He is pleasant, kind and often helps others with their troubles. (Oh yes, he’s still a bit rough around the edges, but we are proud and happy to see how he is managing things at this time). The one major glitch in his life right now is finding a place of his own.
I spoke with him at some length and he gave me the ‘Housing 101’ summary. I took note of his thoughts and feelings about what it is like to have your own place. Three phases: On the streets; Looking for Housing; Finding a place.
ON THE STREETS
You are nothing. Nobody wants to know you, know who you are. You’re the bottom of the shoe. You feel like a ‘low life’, limbo, and you are always wondering the ‘what if’s’: what if this, what if that. You feel like an empty shell, like you are just spinning your wheels. You feel depressed, deprived, miserable, and angry – angry at yourself. You get depressed, real depressed.
LOOKING FOR HOUSING
Agencies, housing help, your worker… it’s all the same story. It’s one long headache. Living in a bad area is worse than homelessness – people always knocking on your door, buy this/that… there’s no stopping it. So ANGRY!
Me: ‘How hard is it? One to ten?’
TEN! It’s not about money. If you’re starting over, you need money, references, someone to vouch for you. Twenty years ago, if you had the money, you were ‘in’. Not today! Used to be: “Oh, on ODSP (Ontario Disability Service Plan)? OK, just fill out this form.” Not now. It’s fill out this form, that form, get references, who will vouch for you? When something comes up, we’ll call you.’
It doesn’t happen. Not any more. Getting housing is like winning the lottery – about the same chances.
WHEN YOU FINALLY GET HOUSING
It’s about 100,000 pounds off your chest. Your mind is at ease, all the pressures are gone, complete turnaround. If you got no place, and then you get a place, you lose the anger, you can relax.
It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s yours. You go to the door. You have the key. You open the door and shut the world out behind you. Maybe you have a TV here, a bed there, a little table – it’s your place, your domain…
When you finally get your own place, you can begin to think about what to do next. You have more patience, you can start to plan. You’re not on the edge, not jumpy.
You get a place, you see things different; you answer different – there’s no more anger in your voice.
You can put your feet up and say, “I’m home and this is mine.”
Getting a place can make the difference between success in reintegration and re-offending. We’re doing what we can to make Harry’s search successful.
Filed under Addictions, Alcoholism, Breaking the cycle of poverty, Dignity, General Poverty, Homelessness, Housing, Housing Canada, Housing Ontario, Justice, Personal Experiences, Poverty, Poverty in Canada, Recovery, Social, Street Outreach, justice canada · Tagged with Addictions, Alcoholism, Dignity, Homelessness, homelessness canada, homelessness ottawa, Housing in Ontario, Housing in Ottawa, jail time, poverty Canada, poverty ontario, poverty ottawa, Recovery, Respect
Posted by ken on July 9, 2010 · Leave a Comment
‘So what kind of success rate do you have with people?’ I looked at this person while a whirlwind of thoughts raced around in my head, almost like the dog chasing his tail.
My friend was thinking there might be a 3%, or maybe 5% success rate – where a person who lives in abject poverty, on the streets, ‘recovers’ and breaks the cycle of poverty, gets a job, an apartment, a family and all the other trappings that accompany the ‘Canadian dream’.
My mind flashed to people that I knew on the streets: people that had been sexually abused for many years as children and who had articulated these abuses only after living with them in silence for over 20 years; I thought of others who were trapped in the dark cycle of drug and alcohol addiction which started as self-medication to deal with the beatings received from father, mother, step-parent or whoever; then of the teenage girl who brought her new born baby to the drop in for help, looking for someone – anyone who might show her real love, because in her experience people had only used her as if she were a piece of meat, a commodity that could be sold, rented or used.
All this raced through my mind in just a few seconds, with my friend waiting for an answer to his probing question.
‘One hundred percent,’ I replied, ‘We have a 100% success rate.’
His mouth dropped open in disbelief. ‘What?? How??’
‘Each time we hand out a sandwich, or sleeping bag, or pair of socks, we build relationship with people who have never had relationship before. It brings someone a step closer to a time when a light will come on and they will make better decisions and life choices.’
Some agencies count their ‘success’ by the number of plates served at a shelter or drop in (not withstanding that many folks will have five helpings!), or the number of people who attend a chapel service in order to receive a meal ticket, or the number of youth who will participate in a ‘project’ so as to make them eligible to receive services.
We count the number of positive interactions we have with our street friends at our drop in services or on the street through outreach. It’s all about relationship (and 100% success).
Filed under About OIM, Addictions, Alcoholism, Biblical, Breaking the cycle of poverty, Dignity, Drop In Services, General Poverty, Homelessness, Justice, Personal Experiences, Poverty, Poverty in Canada, Recovery, Respect, Social, Street Outreach, Street Youth, Street Youth in Canada, Uncategorized, justice canada · Tagged with Addictions, Alcoholism, biblical justice, break cycle poverty, Dignity, Homelessness, homelessness canada, homelessness ontario, homelessness ottawa, Make a diference, poverty Canada, poverty ontario, poverty ottawa, Recovery, Respect, Street Youth, street youth outreach
Posted by ken on June 4, 2010 · Leave a Comment
As we work among people experiencing poverty and homelessness, we have discovered an unusually powerful component that has become one of the foundations of our outreach – volunteers.
It never ceases to amaze me how people will leave the warmth and comfort of their homes and families and brave all elements to ensure that the relationships they have established with their friends on the streets or at one of our drop in programs, are maintained and strengthened. Truly amazing.
Our street friends notice! They are students of human behavior. They watch people all day, and can quickly tell the difference between an imitation and the real thing. Volunteers are in this latter category. If there were such a thing, our street friends would each qualify for an honorary Ph.D. degree in the study of human behavior. They know when someone is ‘out to help’ for selfish, personal reasons or because they genuinely care. This is the power of a volunteer.
We have our Urban Intervention Training program three times a year, and a volunteer social typically occurs at the conclusion of these training sessions. It gives the new volunteers an opportunity to meet with people who are experienced in the area, and it also provides increased opportunities to meet new people with similar interests.
Tonight was great. Our BBQ social was a great success. People were talking and laughing while meeting new friends and hearing our stories. The food was great, but the friendships – ah- that’s the thing.
We model genuine transparent relationships with each other and then take it to the streets. Seasoned volunteers, new graduates, staff and work skills participants all pulling together to move this mountain called ‘homelessness’, and making a difference – one person at a time.
Ever wanted to be a part of a group that together was doing something so much bigger than any of us could do alone? Come and join our team of volunteers. You can make a difference!
Filed under About OIM, Breaking the cycle of poverty, Dignity, Drop In Services, Homelessness, Personal Experiences, Poverty, Recovery, Respect, Social, Street Outreach, Uncategorized, Volunteer Ottawa, Volunteering · Tagged with Homelessness, Make a diference, social justice, Volunteer, Volunteering
Posted by ken on May 21, 2010 · Leave a Comment
“Urban Intervention Training” is the name of our volunteer training program which we host three times a year. It’s a full Saturday, followed by a weeknight session for each of four weeks. The last evening consists of a walk in downtown Ottawa, where experienced staff/outreach workers take our new volunteers and show them the sights of the city. It’s not an interactive evening with our street friends, but rather an education for volunteers to help them understand a little of the culture of our city.
Parts of our walk are not too pretty. Groups of people milling about outside shelters, the drug deals going down, the pushers and the takers, many ‘faceless’ homeless that someday might be new friends to our volunteers. It’s about light penetrating darkness, caring for humanity, justice and advocacy and a host of other issues swirling all around and calling out for attention.
Last night I lead a group of new volunteers in a walk downtown.
Here’s a look at the streets of the Nation’s Capital from the perspective of some people who have already spent considerable time in a fast track to learn about poverty and homelessness. Here’s how they responded:
Q: What were your observations?
- It was really enlightening. As a person with a disability, I wouldn’t have a chance on the streets.
- It was a nice night – I can’t imagine what it would be like if it were raining or snowing.
- A lot of bridges have fences around them. They are inaccessible.
Q: How would you survive?
- If I had to do it on an on-going basis it would be physically and mentally draining.
- I saw the fences, the restrictions, and the attitudes reflected by that message. I was torn between thinking, ‘It’s too bad to have fences,’ and ‘Why are they there in the first place?’
- I felt very unwelcome and scared. I spent the whole time trying to figure out where am I going to sleep? Where will I be safe? Where could I find peace and quiet? I was caught between those thoughts – especially because I am a woman.
- I don’t know. It was very unwelcoming: Don’t stop here. Don’t come here. Bars and fences everywhere saying, not you, not here.
It is a dark and unwelcoming world, but one that needs to first be seen and then be addressed. The final question, “How can we help?” was succinctly answered by one of our new volunteers: “It’s not about fixing anything. It’s about caring. It’s about coming alongside, it’s just to ‘be’.”
In many respects we are very limited in what we can do. On the other hand, we can make a significant difference in people’s lives through our caring, our touch and our ‘walking alongside’. It’s all about people and all about relationships, dignity and respect, and caring enough to go beyond our own comfort zone.
Ready? Let’s go?
Filed under About OIM, Breaking the cycle of poverty, Dignity, Homelessness, Personal Experiences, Poverty, Poverty in Canada, Respect, Street Outreach, Uncategorized · Tagged with Dignity, Homelessness, poverty Canada, Respect, Volunteering
Posted by ken on May 14, 2010 · Leave a Comment
Sam was always going to go to detox in Thunder Bay – some day. His mother would send money and Sam would spend it on booze. His mother would send more money for a bus ticket, but the temptation was too great. Once he even made it to the bus station, but ran.
He failed to follow through – we don’t know how many times. Many years worth, at least. He’d tell his ‘failure’ story over and over again. He wanted to change, but couldn’t.
We would see him on a weekly basis, often several times a week. One favourite haunt was the coin laundry downstairs. He would come with Stacey and Milo, hang around for a while and off to the next stop. Our words of encouragement seemed to fall on deaf ears. It was disheartening and discouraging.
Then last fall he disappeared completely. Gone.
When someone disappears it might mean several things: death, jail or the hospital are the ‘big three’. No one had heard from him – not even Stacey and Milo.
Three months later he shows up, clean and sober. His mother sent him some money, he finally made a decision, and followed through.
Remarkable!
Ten months of sobriety now, and counting – his life has changed.
If you’re interested in another perspective on this story, check out http://bit.ly/cSmznf
It takes a community to change a life, and for whatever part we had to play in this story, we are grateful and thankful.
It’s a pretty good reminder: You never know when something you say, or some random gift of kindness, or prayer for help will make the difference in someone’s life.
It’s also a good lesson on life: Never give up. Never.
Filed under About OIM, Addictions, Alcoholism, Breaking the cycle of poverty, Dignity, Homelessness, Miracle on the Streets, Personal Experiences, Poverty, Recovery, Street Outreach · Tagged with Addictions, Alcoholism, Dignity, Homelessness, Recovery
