Rachel’s Gift, the final episode: Rachel Speaks for Herself
This is the eighth and final episode of “Rachel’s Gift”. Listen as Rachel finally reveals her “Gift”. Invite your friends to listen and ‘catch up’ on previous episodes. If you missed episodes go to ‘Recent Posts’ from November 28 (right hand column).
Ladies and Gentlemen, here’s Rachel:
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Rachel’s Gift, Episode Five: The Birth of Hope
“Rachel’s Gift is an 8 part series until December 23. To listen to the audio backgrounder, click: Rachel’s Gift episode 5 If you missed episodes go to ‘Recent Posts’ (right hand column)..
I was on the streets and my boyfriend took me to some of the drop ins in the city. He took me to the OIM drop in – I didn’t even know there was a drop in there. It was pretty cool.
I came to the OIM office probably about two years ago. It must have been Christmas or something, because the spread you guys had out on the table was awesome. We had lots and lots of food. It was really, really cool.
I started to come to the drop in all the time, and one day Jason [youth outreach worker] came up to me and said, “Hey would you be interested in coming to our youth art program?” When he talked to me, he actually got through to me. It was like, hey, somebody actually cared for me.
The next youth event was the art show at the church. It was really cool. I saw all the stuff the kids were doing, how happy they were, it was really cool. I didn’t know that about them. I knew them from the street but I didn’t know that there was anything like this art group.
There isn’t anything else out there like this.
I started going to the art group all the time. It is so different from the life on the street. The street life is drugs, drugs, and more drugs. At the art group there is something so real, like its real life. I haven’t seen that in a long time, probably ever. It’s just like normal everyday kids. You don’t see normal everyday kids on the streets.
I go to the art group all the time. I look forward to it. When I come to the office on Thursdays (work skills program), I don’t even go back home in case I fall asleep and miss art group. So I just stay downtown until art group.
I am so looking forward to the next art show. I haven’t been able to show any of my art yet. I have a couple of pieces, maybe three. My mom’s really looking forward to coming and my brother too.
It has made a big difference in the last couple of months.
It makes me think, ‘Yeah, I can do this’.
Next Week: Amazed at how she has been accepted into the community, Rachel shares her feelings about finally belonging to a community of caring people.
Rachel’s Gift, Episode Four, The spiral downwards continues…
“Rachel’s Gift is an 8 part series until December 23. Go to www.chri.ca for the audio backgrounders to Rachel’s stories.
This time when I got out of jail I couldn’t go to Ottawa – I was banned from Ottawa. You know, I wasn’t supposed to be in Ottawa, but I didn’t have anywhere else to go. So, I got caught in Ottawa in a rooming house because I was taking a shower there and was arrested for a breach of probation. I went back to jail for one month and then they released me in Ottawa (laughter). I couldn’t go to my mom’s house because her husband at the time was totally against me living there. I could see why.
I got out of jail and started doing the same things that I usually do. I was staying in a heated stairwell at Nepean and Bank – it was public property so they couldn’t arrest you, just tell you to get along. When you are in drugs, people only want you at your house when you had something for them, they say, ‘I would never see you out on the street.’ But when you were in need and you didn’t have any drugs, they would say, like, ‘We can’t have people staying at our house’.
There are some places to stay when you live on the streets, but you have to be careful. Staying in a shelter was much worse – in my eyes it was like the bottom… as long as I don’t have to go to a shelter, I hadn’t hit rock bottom.
I didn’t have a place anymore, and I found a website where you could and used that to meet guys for a date… So, I stayed on the streets or maybe in hotels sometimes. I don’t know, it just became a way of life, survival.
I basically sick and tired of doing drugs, like heroin… I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I ended up in a crack house downtown: people coming and going all the time; drugs in and out like crazy, and I was still using. I had started the methadone program, but was still using street drugs. Anytime I used anything other than opiates, it screwed up my methadone and I would get even sicker.
I guess I just hit rock bottom then. Doing things I would never do and being somebody that I totally never was. People totally lost respect for me. I would overhear people talking about me, and think, ‘Is that what they really think about me?’
I just took a look around one day. I was introduced to Jesus a few years ago. When I was in jail I accepted Jesus but I was doing my own thing. Then one day, looked around and said, “Oh God, I know that this is not what you have planned for me, I just know it isn’t.”
I walked out of that place and got a place with some girls, and it was a safe place.
Next Week: The story takes a significant turn for the better. Stay connected, you don’t want to miss this!
Rachel’s Gift: Episode Two, The early years: ages 9 to 16
Rachel’s Gift is an 8 part series until December 23. To listen to the audio backgrounder from CHRI radio, click: Rachel’s Gift episode 2
“We moved a lot, especially from the time I was nine until sixteen. I counted, and we moved thirty-eight times in those seven years. Just one step ahead of eviction some of the times, mostly we got the eviction itself. It was hard to live like that.
I didn’t do well at school. Even though we moved, there always was a party at our house. And drugs. Lots of drugs. Drug dealers, users and all kinds. Cocaine, heroin and mixtures of drugs I didn’t even know.
I know I missed a lot of school, ‘cause my mom was always hung over. We moved a lot and with the partying, we never seemed to have any money. I used to always wonder why we were always broke, and didn’t really find out until later in life. The pattern was always the same: somehow scratch up the first and last month’s rent, take one month for the eviction to take place and we were on the move again.
I left school when I was sixteen, no actually before that, ‘cause I never really went to high school it was just the way it was. There was a guy that lived with us, tried to raise us or whatever – he used to beat my mom up a lot. We ended going out to Calgary, but the pattern kept with us – we were only there for three months. Life at home was pretty hard, but I made it through. Whatever.
When my mom went back to Ontario for grandma’s birthday, she met someone new and decided on the spot to marry him.
I was 15 at the time. We moved back east, and into this guy’s house. It wasn’t long before I was kicked out of the house. I can’t really remember where I stayed then, when I first got kicked out. I eventually moved back in with them – it was a disaster. There was more partying and the guy ended up cheating on my mom. The guy was charged with assault and he had to leave. More partying and then more – it got to a point where I couldn’t handle It anymore. I had a boyfriend at the time, so I moved out.”
Next Week: The first time I used Crack Cocaine, evicted again, dealing drugs and then jail.
Kids on the Street
Sometimes people talk to me about how they came to be on the streets, and there are as many reasons as there are people. Whether young or old, all the circumstances surrounding a life are different.
Kids on the street, for example, might find themselves there for many reasons. A seasoned leader of a youth street outreach agency told me this: on average 1/3 of the kids come from broken and disfunctional homes; another 1/3 come from regular homes; and about 1/3 come from homes where the kids have everything they need. But on the street there is a very level playing ground.
Pimps, drug dealers, con artists, pedophiles and other exploiters really do not care where the kids come from! They are quick to befriend, deceive, and use for their own purposes.
We are there on the streets. We meet the kids where they are and offer support, help and friendship. Sometimes it’s a small beginning, but it’s something to build on. We look for the strengths that the kids have, but maybe do not even recognize themselves. It is one of the hardest things we have done, and at the same time, brings a satisfaction and a sense of thankfulness when we see the kids make positive life choices.
Thanks for your support!
Out in the Cold – but just a taste
Thanksgiving weekend this year was perhaps the nicest ever – weather was perfect, leaves at their prime and the roads dry and clear of traffic – at least where we were. Three days of back to back beauty!
Our family tradition is to have Thanksgiving at a ‘hunt camp’ on a private pristine lake in Quebec. Somewhat ‘rustic’ but worth the cost by anyone’s standards! Imagine with me for a moment: no sounds except the wind in the pines, the call of the loon and the calm of the lake mirroring the emblazoned hues of the maples of the mountain. Truly amazing.
Seventeen people for an overnight at a camp that comfortable sleeps 14 – so we brought our tent trailer and set it up. I left the bonfire a little earlier than the others and snuggled down under four layers of bedding: a blanket, a quilt, a wool ‘Kenwood’ blanket, and a down sleeping bag over top.
It wasn’t really even cold, relatively speaking, certainly not below nine or ten degrees, but I was uncomfortably cold. It just didn’t work for me, and I spent some time thinking about the cold and my plight. One consolation: the dawn was comin’.
I thought about my friends who sleep outside, not only at Thanksgiving time, but in the midst of the coldest blasts of winter. If I was cold under the protection of the tent trailer and with several layers of dry bedding in tepid temperatures - I just could not imagine what it is to sleep outside with maybe a sleeping bag.
What if we didn’t have any choices about where we would sleep – for whatever reason? What if we had to ‘make do’ alone in the elements? What would that be like?
Here’s an experiment: take some time outside with clothing appropriate to our current weather, and force yourself to stay outside on the deck or back yard for two or three hours. You can’t go inside to get warm, can’t have coffee or hot chocolate on hand, and you can’t add any more clothing as the time goes on.
Then think: people on the street can’t go inside when they’ve ‘reached the limit’.
Wrongs turning out Right!
Mich and his mother came to be friends of OIM first through our outreach teams and then started coming to the drop in. Mich is 19 and Candace, his mom is in her early thirties. We developed relationship over several months and Mich joined our Passion 4 Youth art program. There is a story here that I want to share:
Mich came home to their small apartment and saw his mom lying on the kitchen floor – her third suicide attempt! He called 911 immediately and after the paramedics came, they told him that if he called just 5 minutes earlier, his mom would not be here. The next time he came to the art program, he asked if he could speak with our youth outreach worker in the hallway for a few minutes.
When they were alone, he said, “We’ve been talking about spiritual stuff for a while now. I’m ready. I need to have Jesus in my life.” Mich prayed and so began his spiritual journey with Jesus.
Fast track a few weeks later and Candace asks to speak with me at the drop in. In the adjoining garden we take a bench and she tells me about some of the things happending in her life and she asks for some advice. She is scared and doesn’t know what to do. We talk and conversation comes around to the change in life that Jesus can bring. Mich joins us and the conversation about spiritual things continues.
“Did I tell you what happened a few weeks ago at the art program?” Mich queried. I nodded yes. “How’s it going with you?” I ask.
“I don’t really understand it all – but I sleep each night with my bible right beside me in bed.”
“You know, we have a great program just about to start here at the drop in – it’s called Alpha. There is a video each week, you ask questions and we talk about the Bible. Would you guys like to attend?”
To make a long story short, both Mich and Candace have indicated interest in our Alpha course. Until then we will work with both mother and son, to help them in their spiritual journeys.
God can take the very worst of situations and turn things around to make good. If we can be there to be a part of what He is doing, it is a privelege and blessing!
I just started back to school – well adult high school to make up two classes, and then college.”