Rachel’s Gift: Episode Two, The early years: ages 9 to 16
Rachel’s Gift is an 8 part series until December 23. To listen to the audio backgrounder from CHRI radio, click: Rachel’s Gift episode 2
“We moved a lot, especially from the time I was nine until sixteen. I counted, and we moved thirty-eight times in those seven years. Just one step ahead of eviction some of the times, mostly we got the eviction itself. It was hard to live like that.
I didn’t do well at school. Even though we moved, there always was a party at our house. And drugs. Lots of drugs. Drug dealers, users and all kinds. Cocaine, heroin and mixtures of drugs I didn’t even know.
I know I missed a lot of school, ‘cause my mom was always hung over. We moved a lot and with the partying, we never seemed to have any money. I used to always wonder why we were always broke, and didn’t really find out until later in life. The pattern was always the same: somehow scratch up the first and last month’s rent, take one month for the eviction to take place and we were on the move again.
I left school when I was sixteen, no actually before that, ‘cause I never really went to high school it was just the way it was. There was a guy that lived with us, tried to raise us or whatever – he used to beat my mom up a lot. We ended going out to Calgary, but the pattern kept with us – we were only there for three months. Life at home was pretty hard, but I made it through. Whatever.
When my mom went back to Ontario for grandma’s birthday, she met someone new and decided on the spot to marry him.
I was 15 at the time. We moved back east, and into this guy’s house. It wasn’t long before I was kicked out of the house. I can’t really remember where I stayed then, when I first got kicked out. I eventually moved back in with them – it was a disaster. There was more partying and the guy ended up cheating on my mom. The guy was charged with assault and he had to leave. More partying and then more – it got to a point where I couldn’t handle It anymore. I had a boyfriend at the time, so I moved out.”
Next Week: The first time I used Crack Cocaine, evicted again, dealing drugs and then jail.
Kids on the Street
Sometimes people talk to me about how they came to be on the streets, and there are as many reasons as there are people. Whether young or old, all the circumstances surrounding a life are different.
Kids on the street, for example, might find themselves there for many reasons. A seasoned leader of a youth street outreach agency told me this: on average 1/3 of the kids come from broken and disfunctional homes; another 1/3 come from regular homes; and about 1/3 come from homes where the kids have everything they need. But on the street there is a very level playing ground.
Pimps, drug dealers, con artists, pedophiles and other exploiters really do not care where the kids come from! They are quick to befriend, deceive, and use for their own purposes.
We are there on the streets. We meet the kids where they are and offer support, help and friendship. Sometimes it’s a small beginning, but it’s something to build on. We look for the strengths that the kids have, but maybe do not even recognize themselves. It is one of the hardest things we have done, and at the same time, brings a satisfaction and a sense of thankfulness when we see the kids make positive life choices.
Thanks for your support!
COME AS YOU ART, Art Auction & Coffee House
We wish to invite you to our next PASSION 4 YOUTH ART AUCTION showcasing the artwork and musical talents of street-engaged youth this THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10 from 7pm to 9pm @ Dominion-Chalmers United Church, 355 Cooper St.
Why an ART PROGRAM for STREET-ENGAGED KIDS?
Imagine growing up with no support, friends, security or encouragement. Running away from home because of domestic violence and abuse. You hit the streets with all its darkness, but it’s better than what you left.
It’s like stepping up to the batter’s plate with three strikes already against you.
Then you find there is a safe, clean, dry, welcoming space where you are able to let your creativity flow, join with other people just like you, and find freedom to do whatever you like with paint, canvas and brush.
A volunteer comes along and looks at your art, and you hear words you have never, ever heard in your entire life: “That is beautiful. Did you do that? I would love to have that in my living room. Can you tell me more about it? What inspired you?” And they listen to your story.
Can you imagine what that would be like? To have someone you just met show that kind of interest in your life? When you’ve lived your entire 19 years ‘learning’ you will never amount to anything, never get a job, finish school or make any kind of positive contribution to anyone, anywhere?
Or maybe it’s someone who wants to buy your art, not because they are doing an act of charity, but because they really like your work. They think it’s great! And you tell them.
A few words of encouragement, just those, might just be enough to turn a life around!
Out in the Cold – but just a taste
Thanksgiving weekend this year was perhaps the nicest ever – weather was perfect, leaves at their prime and the roads dry and clear of traffic – at least where we were. Three days of back to back beauty!
Our family tradition is to have Thanksgiving at a ‘hunt camp’ on a private pristine lake in Quebec. Somewhat ‘rustic’ but worth the cost by anyone’s standards! Imagine with me for a moment: no sounds except the wind in the pines, the call of the loon and the calm of the lake mirroring the emblazoned hues of the maples of the mountain. Truly amazing.
Seventeen people for an overnight at a camp that comfortable sleeps 14 – so we brought our tent trailer and set it up. I left the bonfire a little earlier than the others and snuggled down under four layers of bedding: a blanket, a quilt, a wool ‘Kenwood’ blanket, and a down sleeping bag over top.
It wasn’t really even cold, relatively speaking, certainly not below nine or ten degrees, but I was uncomfortably cold. It just didn’t work for me, and I spent some time thinking about the cold and my plight. One consolation: the dawn was comin’.
I thought about my friends who sleep outside, not only at Thanksgiving time, but in the midst of the coldest blasts of winter. If I was cold under the protection of the tent trailer and with several layers of dry bedding in tepid temperatures - I just could not imagine what it is to sleep outside with maybe a sleeping bag.
What if we didn’t have any choices about where we would sleep – for whatever reason? What if we had to ‘make do’ alone in the elements? What would that be like?
Here’s an experiment: take some time outside with clothing appropriate to our current weather, and force yourself to stay outside on the deck or back yard for two or three hours. You can’t go inside to get warm, can’t have coffee or hot chocolate on hand, and you can’t add any more clothing as the time goes on.
Then think: people on the street can’t go inside when they’ve ‘reached the limit’.
Street Outreach: An Encounter!
The Street Outreach team met Bess and Ken near Confederation Park near the first of September. They came up to us asking for sleeping bags because they were sleeping outside. Since we were on the way back to the office anyhow, we asked them if they would like to come and we could help them. The tent they had was stolen the night before and for various reasons, they were having difficulty accessing resources. They were from southern Ontario and moved to Ottawa with hopes of finding work and an apartment. Before they left, we invited them to keep in touch.
The next week we met them on outreach again, and first saw Bess panhandling with a sign that said, “Need $ for a ticket to Owen Sound”. A quick glance around saw Ken across the street keeping an eye on her. We sat and chatted. The sleeping bags were working out great, they were both doing well and did not need any outreach items. We said goodbye and then went across the street and chatted with Ken. He mentioned that they were still having trouble finding a place because rent was much more expensive than they had anticipated. He told us that Bess had been pan handling with a sign asking for money for first and last month’s rent, but that it had not made very much money. He said that he was feeling guilty about the new sign because it is dishonest, but that it is making them much more money. We told him that the important thing was that the money was going to be spent on something positive, like an apartment. After a brief conversation we offered outreach items and then said goodbye.
We were well on our way back to the OIM office about ten minutes later when I heard someone calling for us. It was Bess and Ken. They were running to catch up with us. Bess handed me something and asked me to return it to Karen, one of our outreach workers. Opening the envelope we saw five twenty dollar bills. Bess explained that she had met Karen the night before on outreach. Karen returned the next day and gave Bess the money and a sandwich. Bess and Ken were feeling very guilty that Karen had given the money thinking that it was going towards a ticket to Owen Sound. Ken added that he felt that Karen might get discouraged if she found out that they had been lying on their sign.
We were speechless! We promised that we would return the money to Karen so that she could decide what to do with it. They seemed relieved. My fellow outreach worker told them “God will bless you for your honesty”. Ken replied “We already feel so blessed. He’s already blessed us so much.”
Bringing you up to date: Bess and Ken have become our friends. They have entrusted us with $1,000 to hold for them so they can pay their first and last month’s rent. Last Friday, September 16th, they got their place!! Now that they are set up, Ken is actively looking for work, and Bess is planning to finish her high school. She is sixteen.
Eddy turns himself in!
Our youth outreach worker recounted this story of last Monday’s events, and I thought you would be interested.
Eddy was one of the first members of our Passion 4 youth art program. He enjoyed coming every week and worked on building model cars and also a model of a mountain with a stream running from the side. After the first art show he and his girlfriend Sue stopped coming to the group. I caught up with him a few times on outreach and he told me that he was selling too much crack now and could not afford to take a night off. So we just kept telling him that we loved him and that he was welcome to come back whenever he wanted to. Then we stopped hearing from him all together for a few months. At one point his girlfriend Sue contacted me and told me that he had been arrested for selling drugs. A few more months went by and I got a facebook message from Eddy. He told me that he had served 7 months in Jail and then was released to serve the rest of his sentence at a rehab facility in Quebec. He was allowed to go home for a weekend and while at home he used heroin again. When he came back to rehab and failed a drug test and was dismissed from the facility.
At his next court appearance Eddy was informed that he would have to serve a few more months in jail because he failed the drug test. He asked if he could go and call his mother. When he left the room, Eddy got scared and decided to run from the court room. He later called his lawyer who told him that he needed to turn himself in to the authorities. He knew that he should do the right thing but he was very scared to turn himself in.
Eddy asked me what I thought he should do and I told him that he needed to listen to his lawyer. He said that he has never willingly put himself in Jail. It was just too crazy to think about. So over the next few weeks Eddy would contact me and tell me that he was going to turn himself in. But the next day he would not follow through. He called me again and said that he was thinking about turning himself over to authorities in the morning. I told him that if he wanted I would meet him I would meet with him at the Rideau center in the morning and we could go together. That way he could have a friend with him in case he got scared and wanted to run away again. Eddy said that he would like that so we arranged a time to meet. When I arrived at our meeting spot he was already there waiting for me. We hugged and I told him that I was proud of him. I got him some breakfast and sat and talked for a while. I asked him why he felt that he was ready now. He told me that he had just found out that our mutual friend Roni had died of a drug overdose last week. Roni was a good friend to him and her death had a profound effect on him. He decided that if he didn’t want to end up the same way he needed to make some changes in his life. We talked about how this was an opportunity for him to face some of the things that he has been running from. We walked over to the court house together. Along the way Eddy noticed a man sitting on the Mackenzie King Bridge pan handling. Eddy walked over and gave him all but 4 of the cigarettes from his pack, as well as all of the money in his pocket. We went into the court and called his lawyer. The lawyer agreed to meet him there. When the lawyer came we approached one of the police officers stationed at the court house and told him that Eddy was turning himself in. He filled out some paper work gave up his wallet and shoe laces. He looked very scared and started to cry. The officer told him that he was going to process the paper work and be back in about fifteen minutes. In the mean time Eddy was allowed to go outside and have one last smoke.
We walked out to the patio in the back and he lit his cigarette. At this point I reminded him of all the times we had talked about the difference that Jesus could make in his life. We talked about how God’s love for him is unconditional, and that he was going to need Gods strength to overcome the things that were controlling his life. Usually an agnostic, Eddy told me that this time he really believed that what I was saying was true. So I asked if he would like to ask the Lord to be his Savior and give his life to Christ he said that he did. I sat next to him and we prayed together. When we were done praying we looked up and the police officer was waiting in front of us to take him to the cells. We stood up and walked together with the officer to the elevator.
The officer agreed not to handcuff him until they were downstairs so as not to embarrass him in front of the public. Eddy teared up again and then gave me a hug. I left him my number so that he can continue to call me while he is in jail. He thanked me for staying with him and then asked if I would call his dad and let him know what happened. As I left the court I thought about how proud of Eddy I was. This was very hard for him but he did it anyway. I thanked God for taking what the devil would want to use for harm and turning it into an opportunity to bring my friend into a relationship with him.
It’s a new beginning for Eddy, a fresh start. Let’s pray that he continues to make good decisions and plans for his future.
For us or for them?
I sat at the table with three guys at the drop in this week, just starting a hot game of euchre, when Rod asked if he could please ask a question. Everybody looked. “Sure,” I said.
Rod looked at me intently. We were in relationship for a while now, long enough for him to feel comfortable: “Why don’t you pray here at the drop in before meals?”
“Good question,” I replied and went on to explain that whereas we were a Christian agency, that we did pray before each drop in, that many times our volunteers prayed with people throughout the day, and that the servers prayed over the meal before serving, that we did not pray publically before meals because there would be a small percentage of our guests for whom that would be a problem. Some of our folks have been abused by ‘religious’ people, whether at residential schools, or their home towns or somewhere along the story path of their lives. Any kind of prayer for some of our guests, would make them feel very uncomfortable. For the sake of the few, we decided to forgo this common practice.
We continued to talk and enjoyed a good conversation about prayer, people and respect. The whole table became involved in fact, and the other guys felt free sharing their opinions as well (it was the first time for one of the guys to open up and talk in front of me).
The boys had been having some conversations about how other agencies require them to ‘be a part’ of a worship experience for about 40 minutes, then listen to a sermon for another 30 minutes, and then they were allowed to eat. They felt pretty strongly that there was something wrong with this system, and some definite lack of respect for people who were hungry and wanting something to eat.
I defended the particular agency to the guys, because we all know that there is just too much to be done in this world to help others, and people are doing what they think is best when they run a program.
There was talk then about how the worship/preaching/eating group never asked them what they wanted. You couldn’t play cards, and there was no time to visit or talk really, because the music was too loud during ‘worship’, or you couldn’t speak during the sermon time. The food was really good and always fresh, and when you’re hungry, that means a lot. The whole table agreed that the food was great.
I started to be at a loss for words right about then, but really came up with a big zero when Rod leaned across the table, and thoughtfully (and sincerely) asked me, “Do you think they are doing this for us or for them?”
Are we doing this for us or for them?
Million dollar question! A question that deserves serious consideration, or meditation, or maybe even some prayer time. Who are we doing this for? Is it to make us feel better, less guilty, more ‘loving’?
Or is it because ‘the love of God compels us’ to reach out to others?
Wisdom from the streets calls us to examine ourselves, our motives and our hearts.
Now everything has shifted: it’s not about the worship/preaching/eating group – it’s about me.