Rachel’s Gift, Episode Three, “My first line, and move to Ottawa”

Rachel’s Gift is an 8 part series until December 23.  To listen to the audio backgrounder, click:  Rachel’s Gift episode 3 If you missed episodes go to ‘Recent Posts’ (right hand column).

So I was at a party and I saw my mom doing a line of coke and I was shocked.   “Wuh?  What are you doing?” and lost my mind and I started to party real hard.  I was confused and concerned and kinda wondering all at the same time.

 I really started to think.  My mom was using a lot, and using more and drinking and using coke and I was wondering why this was so much better than your children, than loving your children – using coke that is.

 I love my mom a lot, and I still do.  Whatever it was about coke, it must be good. That’s what my thinking was.  I did my first line of coke shortly after that.  I was seventeen.

 I had been living on my own, but one of the things that happened when I discovered coke was, I couldn’t pay my rent anymore.  I moved in with my boyfriend and his mom.  I worked a couple of places, but I was always going in hung over.  I had to get out of that small town.

 I moved to Ottawa and I moved in with my dad. I had nowhere else to go.  I ended up meeting this guy that my dad introduced me to, which ended up being his crack dealer, and I started dating him. My Dad was doing a lot of crack then and I ended up paying the rent – or trying at least.  I was working a bit, but I was partying hard at the same time.  I don’t know why, but my dad really got mad at me.  I mean, he was using all the time then, not working, making deals, and I guess he looked at me and couldn’t stand to see me doing what I was doing – with the drugs and all that.

 I lasted three months and then got my eviction notice – signed by the mayor. They (the authorities) basically brought boxes, packed my stuff and moved me out.  My brother was in jail, but his girlfriend had an extra room and I moved in with her.

By this time I was selling drugs big time with the guy that I met through my dad.  Every day was the same – using more and more, all the time.  I got busted and went to jail for a while.

  When I got out of jail I had nowhere to go, I was just like floating around.

 Next week:  Rachel really does ‘hit the bottom’.  More drugs, living on the streets, the crack house… the cycle continues with no apparent escape.  What will happen next?

OIM does not receive on-going government funding to operate any of our programs, but instead we rely on the good will donations of concerned citizens and business owners in the National Capital Region.  We need your help to continue our youth outreach program.  Please make a donation today. Click “Donate” at the top of this page.  Thanks!

Now That’s ART!!

Our recent youth art show was a hit!  Great venue, great art, great food and guests – but there is a dynamic to the whole scenario that surpasses them all!  For you ‘bottom liners’, it’s the work of the Master Artist shaping, reforming and molding lives.  That is the real deal. 

One of the gals with yellow spiked hair took the art group camera and just started taking pictures of people, artwork and activities.  Another young man took opportunity to play the guitar and sing.  A second guitar was picked up and strummed.  One of the girls shared some poetry about life on the street, and another gal sang Janis Joplin’s hit “Lord wontcha buy me a Mercedes Benz.”  People from the community mulling and commenting about the art and reviewing its impact.  Art hanging from the ceiling, art displayed on the tables, spoken word and song… and then, well you know I’d come back to it, the living art that made the art.

Moving.  Stirring.  Amazing.  All of the above.

One piece in particular grabbed my attention.  An old school Polaroid camera with some instructions written and taped near the viewfinder, “Look here.”   Another message taped on the side of the camera said, “One picture doesn’t tell the story.”  Curiousity aroused, I took a peek. 

The viewfinder revealed one photograph of a young man sitting on a curb.  No distinctive expression on his face.  Nothing particular about his appearance, dressed in shirt and jeans.  Not ‘flying a sign’ or cap inviting donations.  Just a young man sitting on the curb.

Ah, then I remember the ‘one  picture doesn’t tell the story’ line and my mind races forward at light speed.  How true, not just of this one young man, but the larger picture (sorry about that) about life.  What you see in a moment, what you experience in one interaction, what you can assess or glean from one brief conversation – does not even begin to tell the story.

Then I got angry at myself: how many times have I had the audacity to analyze, scrutinize and evaluate from one brief glimpse, from one short encounter?  Far too many for me to recount here.  How many times have I made my assessment from one snapshot?  Instances started to flood my mind and my head was spinning.

I held the Polaroid at arms’ length, its message penetrating deep into my own soul. I really don’t know much about art, but something was happening here…

The Master Artist was doing a bit of reshaping in me…

Profound Encounters

Easter Dinner happened May 19th, a couple of weeks after the event . The delay is typical for us, so our folks can enjoy a special meal after the other agencies have held their own event meals days running – sometimes there will be two turkey dinners on the same day!

Maybe one hundred and fifty at two seatings – it all went smoothly. There were many volunteers, great service, greater interaction with our street friends, and seconds of meals and desserts for all who were interested.

Let me highlight one key interaction that was both powerful and profound. There are two young men, maybe 11 and 12 years old, who have been volunteering at our special dinners for several years. They came with both parents this year, and are both comfortable and capable in their service at the dinner.

I was talking with one of our guests, Bill, after the dinner when our two young volunteers walked by, preparing to depart with mom and dad. I stopped to speak with them and asked them how their day went. Fine, they affirmed. I asked if they had opportunity to visit with any of our street friends, and they said they did not have that chance. I thanked them for coming.

Just then Bill, who had overheard our conversation, joined the conversation and had some specific words of encouragement that he delivered to the two boys. He commended them and their parents for coming out to volunteer and help serve the meal. It was very special to have young people learn how to serve others at an early age he said, and it really meant a lot to him (particularly) and to all the guests (generally) to know that others cared. He spoke sincere words of appreciation and thanks to the young men, and again thanked them for caring.

I could sense Bill’s words carried a great deal of weight as the boys looked up and eagerly listened to this ‘rounder’ (been around a long time) as he expressed his gratitude. It was very real and genuine, and the boys could sense his sincerity. Although the conversation lasted only a few moments, it will be a conversation that the boys may never forget.

It is also typical of volunteers’ interactions with our street friends: no matter how convinced volunteers are that they come to encourage, minister and help, they learn quickly that they are often the recipients of the encouragement, ministry and blessing.

I think it is a principle of the Kingdom. A reversal of the world’s values and expectations. The greatest will be the least, the servant will be the master.

Happy Easter – every day!

What? Weather?

March winds blow, or it pours rain, minus 30 with the wind chill – or any combination thereof.   Only in Canada, eh?

We can look forward to spring, but it seems a long time coming.

No less for our street friends – not that’s the understatement of the year.

Christmas is a time typically when there is a generous outpouring of love and generosity to those on the streets and we are thankful for this.  But what about after Christmas?

Maybe we don’t think about it all that much, but the winter is a misery when you are on the move all the time, with no place to rest your usually wet, cold, freezing feet.  The laundromat is usually a good place, but it is often the case that the proprietors of the same are on the lookout for people who don’t wash their clothes.  The laundromat just beside our offfice entance is a good example.  It is common for the police to be called to this place, because some of Ottawa’s homeless population need a warm place.

In extreme cold -whatever that is- I guess it depends on whether or not you are in the cold all the time .  Street-engaged people are herded up and forced to go ‘inside’ (not the Chateau Laurier).  This experience can be worse that staying outside, because it is yet another violation of their persons (the force that can accompany can be excessive) – there are reasons why people cannot access services.

I guess I’m painting a pretty dark, bleak picture.  A bit negative, eh? But it is what it is – I’m pretty sure about that.

What then?  Well, don’t forget about those on the streets, even when the weather has some degree of improvement: the nights are still very cold.

Why not think about doing something about this problem?  You could contact one of the local agencies in your city and volunteer to do something.  Maybe you could give something – time, talents or money.  Stop and talk to someone you pass who is panhandling on the streets: you would be surprised how ‘invisible’ someone can become as soon as they sit on a curb with a ball cap and ask for money.  Give or not, it’s up to you, but you need to see that this is a real person, with a real story,  he/she is where she is, not from choice,  but from a cascade of trouble that they could do nothing to change (it usually begins with childhood abuse – how can we hold someone responsible for that?)

Give some change if you like – better a bill.  Once you give, forget about what will happen to it.  We hold people so very responsible for so little, when we are so careless with the treasures with which we have been blessed.

One thing for sure: we really can’t do nothing about this.  In our affluence, remember the  poor.

Make a difference.  Go out there and change your world.

Deaf and Dumb, but WHO?

Big transition of our drop in this past week from Salvation Army Gladstone Street to Dominion Chalmers U/C on Lisgar.  For those who aren’t aware of this prestigous United Church, have a look at photos at http://www.dc-church.org/  A remarkable, extrememly well kept, renovated, bright, cheery place – exactly the kind of place that our street friends deserve to come into for a meal, refreshment and friendship.

Switching from Wednesday to Tuesday and the first of the month when all the cheques are out, and when it is absolutely beautiful and sunny, attendance was a bit low.  But, every person is important, and our gift is to come alongside those who are given to us on any day.

I had seen Jacques several times but never had a chance to sit and visit until today.  Add to that, Jacques can neither hear nor speak.  So I sat across the table and tried to communicate, thinking he might read lips or we could have some sort of communication.  He clearly indicated some things to me, one of which was he was not interested in trying to communicate with me (at least in my clumsy manner).  I was at a loss, until I looked at the white napkin in front of me, and then caught a glimpse of a pen that my neighbour had placed next to her book.  DUH!!

I picked up the pen and napkin and wrote a sentence of welcome.

The transformation was immediate and eagerly accepted.  After a few pen exchanges, I went and found some loose leaf and we spent the next while going back and forth, writing like we were age old friends.

Jacques told me days, dates and years of significant events in his life.  We talked about the drop in and answered questions that he had since he came through our doors some time ago.  Of where he lived, how it was hard to live on ODSP, how old he was, where he was raised and more…

It was refreshing, even exhilerating!  I had a friend to talk with, and so did he.

We get so busy with things – and I would be one of the worst offenders.  This and that call for immediate attention and we can neglect or overlook the gifts of beauty in the people around us.  This is clearly my story with Jacques. 

I wonder who the deaf and dumb one really is.

 I don’t know why I didn’t think of writing before, but I am thank God that I thought of it this week.

And I thank God for my new friend – my note pal.

I wonder what riches we will uncover as we develop our friendship?  I am really looking forward to more.

God help us to slow down and see the opportunities that present themselves to all of us each day.

OIM Relocates Drop In

Some time ago, we learned that our weekly drop in program would be interrupted for a period of three to six months while a construction renovation occurred at our current downtown location.

 Just two weeks ago, Jelica (OIM’s managing director) informed me that the scheduling for the renovation was imminent.  We would have just three weeks to find a new location, go through the necessary steps with our new ‘landlord’ (which might take several weeks or even months to get approvals), move our supplies, inform our street friends, set up and continue to provide needed services.

 There were some specific caveats involved that severely restricted our options: we needed a downtown location, a place which could accommodate a minimum of 120 people (and up), a serviceable kitchen, a large space for eating our community meal as well as additional spaces for foot care, touch care, hair care, chiropractic care, and clothing distribution.  We needed a space that would allow all these services to be a part of the larger group, and at the same time, is separate enough for individual care.

 In a perfect world, we would also like to be in a pleasant venue with natural light, clean and modern washrooms, and maybe even a garden.  We were looking for a world class venue that would suite the people that we are working with.  Someone said, ‘Put a person in a prison like environment and they’ll act like a prisoner.  Put a person in a world class venue and they’ll act like a world class citizen’. 

 This is not a simple list of items, but it is what we need.  These are the needs of our operation, and became the criteria around which we directed our search.

 The day after the news of our immediate need, I gathered staff for prayer and waiting on God.  We met that morning, again that afternoon, and the next morning.  We didn’t need ‘a space’; we needed the ‘right space’, and so made inquiry of the Lord.

 Good news!  In less than one week we had an offer of ‘the perfect space’ for our needs!

 Dominion Chalmers United Church has very graciously opened her doors to host our drop in until the renovation is complete – mid July!  In every sense, it is the perfect space!

 Woodside Hall is where we have hosted our annual community dinners and accommodate 160-200 guests; there is ample room for services, with our volunteers having their ‘own space’ and feeling like they are a part of the larger drop in at the same time; we have access to D.C.’s private garden which Is accessed directly through Woodside Hall; the kitchen is perfect for our needs, and there is parking!  In every respect, this is a perfect fit for our present needs. 

In less than one week from the time of the announcement of the imminent need to relocate, it was all looked after.   Thanks be to God (and thank you Dominion Chalmers)!

You can check out photos on their website:  http://www.dc-church.org/

Youth Art Show III

A totally unexpected outcome was realized at our youth art show just a few months ago, and I don’t think I told you about it.  So have a read, and let me know if you don’t think that this is the coolest…

The kids were pumped, everything was ready, all the art work was in place, snacks, interactive art table (the kids’ idea), it was all so special, so beautiful.  But none of it was really as beautiful as this.

I mingled with the kids, the volunteers, and introduced myself to some of the early arrival guests.  I had the chance to meet some people that I did not recognize, and early into our conversations, they identified themselves as parents, relatives, grandparents, cousins or some link of family members to the artists in our Passion for Youth art program.

At first, I thought this was very cool.  Then, as I met more and more relatives of the kids, whether on my own, or one of the kids would introduce their ‘kin’ to me, the degree of coolness increased significantly.

It had not occurred to me that the kids would have relatives come out to such an event (I am not sure why).  It sure meant a lot to the kids though.  Of course, some of the parents/ relatives were very interested in winning the bid on certain of the art pieces.  I think each was successful.  While they did not bring their kids home that night, they took a piece of them through the art work their kids had created.

In debriefing with our youth outreach worker, Jason, I mentioned that there was quite an interest on the part of the relatives of the kids, and was this an expected outcome?

No, it wasn’t really, but it made sense to me when Jason gave me a bit of explanation.  Most of the ‘events’ that the kids are involved in with other social service agencies in the city, have to do with such things as safe sex, harm reduction, drug use, safe drug use, etc. – which are exactly NOT the sort of things the kids wanted to sport in front of their parents or relatives.

But an art show?  Bring it on!

The kids were so proud of the fact that they were the featured artists, that ‘many others’ in the community wanted to come (and pay) to see their creations, that they were the centre of attention, that people wanted to talk to them about their art, their stories, their ideas – it was a win-win-win situation.

THAT they could invite their relatives to. 

Five of the kids had one or more family members at the exhibition/silent auction that evening. 

I’d say that is taking a step in the right direction, wouldn’t you?

No Where to Go

We were eating lunch when about twelve taps at the door came, softly, rhythmically and then stopped. We looked at each other and guessed it was the one of our guys that always came when we were closed.  “Pete, for sure,” and we  agreed.

We opened the door to find Rachel, a twenty something native Canadian with a three inch gash over her  right temple, blood not fresh, but not old either. “I had no where to go.  I couldn’t find anybody.  I didn’t know what to do, so I came here.”

We ushered her in, sat her down and started to tend to her wound.  There was more: a bicycle pedal imprint over her right knee where she had been thrown, sore ribs and bruises on her body where she had been kicked and punched.

“I don’t know why I get guys that beat me up,” she said softly, between tears.  “I left my last boyfriend for this very reason.  I just found out I am a month pregnant.  What am I going to do?”

“You did the right thing to come to us,” we comforted her.

We cleaned the wound and bandaged it – thankfully it didn’t need stitches – this time.  She spoke so softly, as if her every word, let alone her presence with us was, as she thought, was such an intrusion.

“I couldn’t find Benny or Smitty or Lally, or anybody.  I had nowhere else to go.  I didn’t know what to do,” she said again, and then broke into muffled sobs.

As I watched, Erin put down the towel, and wrapped her arms around Rachel, and held her.  The sobs turned to a moaning and deep sobbing from areas of pain deep within.  She melted into Erin’s embrace, now just a little girl, all alone, with some pretty big problems. 

“There, there,” Erin whispered, “You’re Ok with us.  You are safe here.”  And she held her.

That’s it.  That’s what OIM is all about – somewhere and someone to whom you can run when the bottom falls out of life.  A safe place where someone who cares will hold you when the whole world is crashing around you.  Where you have a name.  Where you can share your pain, and know that another human being really does care.   Where, for not-enough-minutes-at-a-time, you can have a family again.

Moments of time etched on our minds, some of which will not be soon forgotten.  When something we do seems to make a whole lot of sense, in a world which doesn’t make sense at all.  If we never did another single, solitary thing for the rest of forever, we were there – and we are here – for Rachel.

BIG day at the Drop In

We receive many donations of clothing at the drop in and we invite folks to help themselves to whatever they need.  From time to time we are presented with genuine needs that go far beyond any donation.

Jimmy takes a size 15 boot and has difficulties finding this size anywhere in the city.  Bill has a rather large circumference and has the same problem.

I approached Bill and told him we could help.  If he would like, we could go to a big box store and he could get a couple pair of pants.  He declined, saying that his sweat pants were serving their purpose quite well, and that there was no need – perhaps I could find someone who was really poor and who needed it.  After some further conversation, he hesitantly admitted, well, he might be able to use some 52” waist trousers given that his other pair of pants were shorts (and he had been wearing them this winter!!)  He was too shy to come with me, but if I went to the box store, he would need 52” a (not 50”) waist.  I asked if we should do a measurement just in case, but we couldn’t find a measuring tape.

Final words, “Fifty-two.”

“No problem”, I replied, “You wait right here.”

South on Bank Street, and my two BIG questions (nice pun!) at the box store, “Do you have 52” waist pants and size 15 warm winter boots?” was answered in the affirmative.  Back to the drop in.

I discretely passed Bill the inside out bag with two pairs of pants and suspenders, and encouraged him to go try them on for size.  “Are they 52?” he asked. 

“Yes, they are.” 

“Then they will be fine, thank you very much.   Fifty-two’s will be just fine.  Thank you very much.”

“It might be good to try them, just in case.  Sometimes store measurements can be a bit off,” I proposed, and, after receiving a somewhat hesitant affirmation, I went off to find Jimmy.  Word got out that I had been looking for him, and he was waiting when I returned.  Before I told him about the new boots he mentioned that his feet were wet and cold from the snow, and size 15 were not common.  I told him that was just what I wanted to talk to him about.  He welcomed the news and we went to the car, and he tried on the boots right there. 

“Are these size 14?” he asked.

“No, these are size 15 – hey, here’s the tag,” and showed him the big ‘15’ on the box.

“Hmmm, nice.”

I passed him one of the boots and he asked for the other.  “My left foot is bigger,” he explained.

Long story short, the left foot was a bit tight, but the right fit perfectly.  He was very pleased and thanked me profusely.

Back downstairs to see how Bill made out. When I was only just in sight, he yelled, “Good one Ken!  Thanks to Lord too,” and explained how the pants did not fit properly – maybe an inch and a half too short of buttoning up. 

“Maybe get a 54 or 55 would be good.  Don’t be shy.  Sorry for the trouble.”

“No trouble at all,” I replied, “Better to find out now and make the exchange.”

South on Bank Street, and now just one BIG question, “Do you have 54” and Matt promptly searched for the right numbers.  “Do you have 55?” I inquired, “that might be better.” 

“If it’s just 1 ½ inch, then a 54 will fit just fine.”

Back again to the drop in – it was almost deserted by this time – and no Bill.  Anybody seen Bill?  He was upstairs getting his hair cut, so all was well.

“Got the 54’s,” I said, “No problem at all.”

“That will be great,” he replied.  “Thanks so much.  I am so sorry for your trouble.  Thank you.”

“Maybe you should just try these on to be sure,” I offered, confident that I had achieved my goal.

“As soon as I’m done.”

Twenty minutes later he came out of the washroom with a concerned look on his face.  “Ken, they only just fit.  Will they shrink?  What if I just hung them to dry?  What if the woman that sometimes helps with my laundry forgets, and puts them in the dryer?  They just barely fit now. And they’re 54’s (sigh).”

“That’s not so bad.  One of our volunteers has a cousin that takes a 60.”  He raised his eyebrows.  I’ll take them back and get the next size up.  Come to the office at noon tomorrow, and we’ll get the right size.”

“I’m so sorry about all this,” he said sadly, ”It is so much trouble.”

“Tomorrow you will have pants that fit properly. You will enjoy them for a long time to come.  It’s worth it to do this right. “

“Around noon then.  Thank you Ken.  Thank you.”

Add a Homeless Person to Your Christmas List – II

Merry Christmas!  Just a quick note today, on the eve of Christmas eve, to invite you to do a last minute gift purchase - for someone experiencing homelessness – for someone you don’t even know.  Click on the banner above for more info.

AND, if you would visit www.chri.ca, you can listen to the podcast of the interview I did with the Mayor of Ottawa, Jim Watson.  This is not a political maneuvering or ‘nail him to the post’ interview, but an opportunity to hear our Mayor’s heart regarding the less fortunate in our city: how at an early age, he learned to care, what he is doing now, and some ideas how citizens of Ottawa (and beyond) can become involved.

Take opportunity today and make a donation.  We’ll be sure it gets to where it’s needed most!