“Rachel’s Gift is an 8 part series until December 23. To listen to the audio backgrounder, click: Rachel’s Gift episode 3 If you missed episodes go to ‘Recent Posts’ (right hand column).
So I was at a party and I saw my mom doing a line of coke and I was shocked. “Wuh? What are you doing?” and lost my mind and I started to party real hard. I was confused and concerned and kinda wondering all at the same time.
I really started to think. My mom was using a lot, and using more and drinking and using coke and I was wondering why this was so much better than your children, than loving your children – using coke that is.
I love my mom a lot, and I still do. Whatever it was about coke, it must be good. That’s what my thinking was. I did my first line of coke shortly after that. I was seventeen.
I had been living on my own, but one of the things that happened when I discovered coke was, I couldn’t pay my rent anymore. I moved in with my boyfriend and his mom. I worked a couple of places, but I was always going in hung over. I had to get out of that small town.
I moved to Ottawa and I moved in with my dad. I had nowhere else to go. I ended up meeting this guy that my dad introduced me to, which ended up being his crack dealer, and I started dating him. My Dad was doing a lot of crack then and I ended up paying the rent – or trying at least. I was working a bit, but I was partying hard at the same time. I don’t know why, but my dad really got mad at me. I mean, he was using all the time then, not working, making deals, and I guess he looked at me and couldn’t stand to see me doing what I was doing – with the drugs and all that.
I lasted three months and then got my eviction notice – signed by the mayor. They (the authorities) basically brought boxes, packed my stuff and moved me out. My brother was in jail, but his girlfriend had an extra room and I moved in with her.
By this time I was selling drugs big time with the guy that I met through my dad. Every day was the same – using more and more, all the time. I got busted and went to jail for a while.
When I got out of jail I had nowhere to go, I was just like floating around.
Next week: Rachel really does ‘hit the bottom’. More drugs, living on the streets, the crack house… the cycle continues with no apparent escape. What will happen next?
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