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The Bob Series: Marginalized survivors

Note:  To protect the identity of the people I write about, I have chosen to use the name ‘Bob’ in the following piece…

All of the people I share with you are real men and women. Friends with hopes and dreams and all the same desires shared by us all. As a result of some extreme circumstances or mental health issues, their lives have been marginalized to that of outcast in our society.

When we look at those experiencing poverty and homelessness we tend to fit them into a framework and think they have earned the place they have in our culture. It helps us to justify the favour and blessings in our lives.

Yet  God does not see anybody that way. He sees all people through the eyes of the cross.

Namely, who they can be, at their fullest potential, the bride of Christ, clean pure and amazing. We should look at all people through those same eyes of love and then apply action to support them with our time, our prayers, and our resources. I have up to now and will continue to share with you stories about “Bob,” attempting to paint a picture of the incredible resilience and ability there is in the human spirit to survive.

I started this blog with, these are true stories about real lives, of men and women and youth with all the same feelings, desires and dreams that we all have. So remember, as we look at our street-engaged community we need to engage, and also remember that the cliche saying “there but by the grace of God go I”. This may be more of a reality than we care to admit.

Rick Ojala, Staff

 

*To see more from the series, click here to see part 1, part 2, and part 3.

 

 

 

Just a couple of Canadians (eh?), talking on the bus.

I ran into one of our clients the other day.

It happened as I got on the bus & looked around for an empty spot.

“There she is!” I heard someone say. It was Ted.

He was sitting alone. The rest of the bus was crowded, cramped. But Ted had an empty seat on his right and an empty seat on his left. Holding an enormous paper bag (a 6-pack of beer inside), he looked weathered, frail, wrinkled, and slightly intoxicated. He smiled up at me.

I sat next to him and we spent the next 10 minutes catching up.

It was like any conversation you might hear on any bus in Canada.

We spoke about Canada Day (how chaotic it was!), the weather (how warm it’s been lately, eh?), and music (I play 1 instrument; Ted plays several. “Like most Newfoundlanders,” I say. He smiles ).

Ted was chatty, friendly; polite and encouraging (“When I was on the streets, your outreach teams helped me out so much!” he says to me. “They are amazing.”)

I couldn’t help but wonder how odd the two of us looked to the other passengers who eyed us cautiously.

I hoped that their expectations were challenged. I hoped that they could see beneath Ted’s rough exterior and see what I saw: the talented musician; the sympathetic listener; the amiable fellow:  a typical Canadian.

A deeply troubled background? Yes. Complex mental and physical health issues? Yes. Making strides? Yes.

And above all, still just a guy, talking to a gal, riding on a bus, on our way home.

Jelica, Staff

 

 

Eric’s Journey, Episode 3: Drugs Owned My Life

“Eric’s Journey” is a 7 part series running throughout December. To listen to the audio backgrounder from Family Radio CHRI, click the play button belowFollow along all month to hear this amazing story! 

 

Eric Continues His Story. . . 

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Eric in 2011

“Drugs were the biggest part of my life. Everything revolved around drugs. Panhandling for money for drugs. Stealing for drugs. Doing whatever I could to get more drugs. They owned my life.

Drugs messed up my life. I had some part-time jobs and was able to have an apartment for a period of time but I lost my job when I didn’t show up for work. I had a couple of homeless guys living with me at the time who had no other place to go. We did drugs together by I ended up losing me place every time.

I didn’t’ really deal drugs very much, but I connected people with other people (drug dealers) and that helped me out a bit.

I spent some time in jail. I don’t have a big criminal record for anything really; sometimes I used my brother’s name instead of mine when I was pulled over by the police. But all of my criminal activity always revolved around drugs and more drugs.

Then while panhandling, I met some people on the street that really helped me lot. They invited me to come to an art program. I used to do art all the time when I was a kid. Some of my stuff was pretty good.

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Eric at the P4Y art program in 2009

Yeah so when these outreach guys invited me to come to the art program, I said yes. Well, it took awhile but finally I went.”

Coming Up on December 14th –

Episode 4: Something happens in

Eric’s life that changes EVERYTHING . . .

 

 

 

 

 

OIM does not receive on-going government funding to operate any of our programs. Instead, we rely on the goodwill donations of concerned citizens and business people in the National Capital Region. We need your help to continue our youth outreach program. Please make a donation today, click “Donate Now”. Thanks!

Eric’s Journey, Episode 2: Throughout School and then Through WITH School

“Eric’s Journey” is a 7 part series running throughout December. To listen to the audio backgrounder from Family Radio CHRI, click the play button belowFollow along all month to hear this amazing story! 

 

Eric Continues His Story….

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“One of the places I lived growing up was near the RCMP stables. One of my friends lived there and one day he talked me into trying pot. When I did I found it was so amazing. Suddenly, I found something to bring me happiness. It didn’t take long until my friends dad found out what we were doing and called the cops. I was still in elementary school. I think I must’ve been around 11 or 12 years old. I didn’t stop me from keeping using drugs.

My dad was drinking quite a bit and I was pretty sure he did drugs.

Things actually seemed pretty normal to me. I thought everyone lived like this. I know there are people that don’t have family at all and no support at all, I’ve met them on the street.

Being high made me happy and that was what I was looking for. But it’s not real happiness. I was looking for something that could help me manage my life.

In high school I was doing pot a lot and doing other drugs too.

During those years of high school I went to stay with my dad. He has just separated and divorced his second wife and I stayed with him for a while. He lived on the eighth flood of an apartment building and I remember a time when I saw that it would be so easy just to jump off the balcony and take my life. These weren’t the first thoughts of suicide for me. I didn’t know where to turn.

Drugs were the reason I quit high school. I was addicted to them heavily. I was injecting drugs. I lived in the downtown core and panhandled to live.”

Coming up December 9th – Episode 3: OIM street outreach teams find Eric and make a first connection. It’s the beginning of relationship, support and encouragement. 

Eric’s Journey, Episode 1: Early Life

“Eric’s Journey” is a 7 part series running throughout December. To listen to the audio backgrounder from Family Radio CHRI, click the play button belowFollow along all month to hear this amazing story! 

 

 

Eric Tells His Story….

One of my first memoriesIMG_6583 was having cancer when I was three years old. It was leukemia. For a couple of years I went to Camp Trillium, which was a place for kids who had cancer. I remember I was so sick that I threw up everything in my stomach and was throwing up bile. I was limp in my fathers arms and said “Get a fork so I can save the chunks!” I remember being in the hospital a lot and I also remember Camp Trillium. I could even draw you a picture of the shape of the island.

I went through a series of treatments until finally I remember them saying you’re not going to get this kind of cancer again.

It’s hard for me to remember, it is hard for me to focus my speech.

My parents separated when I was six and they later divorced. They never got back together. I don’t ever remember them living together. I didn’t know how to act of react at home in the past – it was pretty confusing. I had two different parents living in different places. They knew each other but I was back and forth between two homes and I was pretty confused. I didn’t act out at the time, but I guess deep down I was really sad and mad -at the same time – at both of my parents. I didn’t know what to do, through that relationships thing. I don’t like to be negative about my parents but through it all I became a bad person. I didn’t say anything to anyone at the time but those thoughts were in my mind.

 

Coming up December 7th – Episode 2: School – until drugs and alcohol drove him to the streets.

Navigating the Systems

Blog - Navigating the SystemsSometimes our youth go into crisis. We need to be there for them and help to navigate the systems in place. Sometimes these systems are daunting. When dealing with mental health issues there is a lot of fear that you won’t be heard; that you won’t be taken seriously; that you won’t be respected. We have had both good and bad experiences with these systems. We are always looking for more effective and reliable ways to get our youths’ needs met. There are some great supports in place, but depending on the youth, they may or may not qualify. Our biggest obstacle in finding help for the young people with which we work, is their age range. Because of the age range from 16 up to 32 there are many supports they do not qualify for, especially for those after the age of 21.  While identified as ‘adult’ many have had enough trauma in their lives to stunt their normal emotional and social development. So we continue to look for new avenues of help.  Another obstacle for us, is the factor of addictions. Because there are almost no therapies available for concurrent disorders (i.e., someone with both an addiction and mental health disorder), our young people are told to take care of their addiction issues before they will be seen for their mental/emotional issues. This is very frustrating as you can rarely separate the two. It is our experience that most youth with addictions are actually self-medicating for emotional/mental issues; both of which need to be addressed at the same time.   At the ‘Passion 4 Youth’ art program, we create a safe space for our youth to express themselves while being respected and acknowledged. We continue to do our best to navigate these systems and hope, in the meantime, that our systems will continue to evolve in their responsiveness to the very complex needs of our street-engaged youth.

Dana

Youth Outreach Worker

Shane’s Story, Episode 3: On My Own

Shane’s Story is a eight episode blog post where Shane tells her story in her own words.  Each week in December, on Mondays and Thursdays at 8 a.m. you can click on both the radio spot and then read the Episode of this special gal’s story. Tweet it to your friends – it gets better as we get closer to Christmas, and Shane’s special Christmas wish to each of you. Hold tight! it is going to be a great ride! Merry Christmas!”

Click the play button to hear a part of her story, then read the rest below:

When I was 16 I left the foster home. For a little bit I went back home, test the waters thinking that maybe, maybe it will be better this time. Maybe they will actually take me seriously, but uh, nope. I ended up getting kicked out.  I guess I kind of exploded after a bit…

Drugs started pretty young, I think 14. Someone asked me if I wanted to smoke some grass. I said don’t be stupid you don’t smoke grass, but then he explained it and that was my first time.

It was really weird the first time, it wasn’t very pleasant. But I kept doing it. It was ok. Then my friends introduced me to a boy – I  kinda ended up dating him for awhile and almost got pregnant. He would steal beer from his Dad because his Dad was an alcoholic, so we all started drinking. He couldn’t even keep track of how many beers he had. He would buy like 3 or 4 two-fours and take 5 out of box and you would never know (laughter). He figured he drank them.

When I was at the foster home, I got into a band and the drummer of the band was into ecstasy and he offered me some. I didn’t know what it was, he explained it to me and I took that.

After that I went crazy.

I started doing Ritalin. I met another boy who I started dating and he had ADHD so he had hard Ritalin. So he would toss me a few of those.  I would get messed up. Then it was uppers, downers, all arounders… it wasn’t until that I started doing dirty street drugs, like the really gross stuff that I saw how much trouble I was in. I’m gonna die! But it was a way to escape, to stop being angry for a while. If I was messed up I could talk more I would make more friends, people start calling me. Who the hell are you? Sure ya I’ll go hang out (laughter).

I started doing Gravol because I could get a lot of it, that’s easy because I could go into the pharmacy that’s easy just take like 5 or 10 of them. Have a good day. Then it was MDMA, mushrooms, acid and then after that I got into ketamine. I never banged needles. I am afraid of the flu shot so why I am gonna stick myself ? I almost did but once it touched the skin I was like no I can’t it’s gonna hurt.  I never did that. But if I could put it up my nose, up my nose it went. If I couldn’t, I wouldn’t buy it.

I started getting paranoid thinking I was gonna have a heart attack. I’m gonna fall asleep and my heart will actually slow down and stop and I’ll die. Eventually that got to be too much and you would start getting mad at yourself if did it because you knew it was going to happen. I knew that I would freak out but I did it anyways. Then I started to snap out of it.  Eventually you start saying no or like prolonged periods without. That was pretty cool. I don’t think many people snap themselves out of it.

This was just a couple years ago. When I was living in Quebec I had hit my worse like, 5 speed pills a day.

Worse worse. And I would still like push for more. If I could get a little bit more that day I would get a little bit more.

I had to run away from my boyfriend. He kept wanting to do drugs and I didn’t want to anymore. He keeps getting scary so I packed my bags & I left.

That was the worst time of my life: getting off speed.

 

Ottawa Home and Garden Show. Why?

OIM has been given a booth at the Ottawa Home and Garden Show, March 20 to 23 at the Ernst and Young Centre.  Why?

A friend of the ministry donated this 10’ x 20’ exhibitor’s space so that people who are thinking about renovating, redoing and re-fixing their own homes might take a moment and consider people who don’t have any home at all.

Our booth will have an area where visitors can see some of the art work that our Passion 4 Youth artists have created; we will be showing the 7 minute OIM DVD and also another shorter DVD featuring interviews from three of the youth from the program; we will have a visual aid of a home (on Bristol board) where visitors can buy a brick for a donation of any amount, and we can collect funds for new space (which we desperately need).

Then we’ll top it off with not one, but two (and maybe three) surprises that you can only discover if you come by and have a visit with us.

The Ottawa Home and Garden people are expecting over 20,000 visitors to the show this year, and it is a privilege to represent OIM there.  We have scheduled volunteers and staff for the entire weekend, and you will want to see how this works!

Please consider this your special invitation: ‘Come on down’ and visit us!

The Small Things Guy…

Following from last week, my friend ‘Jesse’, the ‘small things guy’.

So last week at the drop in, I had to call the police and ask them to remove Jesse as he would not cooperate and leave when I asked him.  The reason?  He was drinking (no surprise) openly (not allowed) and blatantly (not allowed) and was not showing respect to the church where we house our drop in (the biggest offense), neither did he respect the staff and volunteers who make things work.

I was hurt – OK, so I know it’s not about me – but it pained me that my ‘friend’, who in his last letter from jail called me his ‘Best Friend’ walked and stomped all over me (not literally) and our friendship (I thought).

He left the premises last week only when Ottawa’s finest escorted him out – no problem.

So my week goes on and I think about Jesse a lot, and our friendship, and wonder how badly it’s been violated.  Then I’m looking through my shirts and I find one that I think Jesse would like and bring it to the drop in, thinking I would meet him there today.

On the way it struck me that Jesse would not remember even one of the details of our encounter last week.  Nothing.

Staff called to tell me he had arrived at the drop in and I came shortly afterwards.

We connected.  I gave him a shirt.  He liked it. I told him I loved him, and he knew that.  I told him he was not respectful last week and I had to call the police.  What?? he said. Didn’t remember a thing.  Truly.  We hung out for a while and he said he would help me with the memorial service to come later that day.  It was a new day. Fresh start. My Best Friend.  Again.

So what to do?  Life goes on.  Hold things lightly.  Hold others with a firm grasp.  Never let go of hope.  Never give up on people.  Love unconditionally – people need to be loved.

Question: What about the seventy times seven plus one? Does love ever draw the line?

PS (and unrelated): It’s not too late to join our Urban Intervention Training for new volunteers: next session Feb 6. 2014

The Small Things

Someone gave me a gift of money and instructed to help someone. Nothing came to mind immediately so I tucked it away- and took it out again when Jesse called me from jail.  Not a friend in the whole world, although Jesse has been just about everywhere.  Chronically homeless, he finally got a place some months ago, and his place was secure as it was paid immediately through Welfare.

I bought him a pair of jeans, underwear and gathered some other stuff from our donation pile.  I had $15 left, and knowing that Jesse would never have anyone give him any money for tuck, deposited it in his account.  I didn’t have an appointment so we could not visit, so I dropped the stuff off and left.

Then I got the letter.

Here are excerpts:

Hi Ken. Thank you for everything you did.  I was surprize with the cloth and picture… You Didn’t have to leave me money. you. God Bless… Say Hi to everybody for me. Your pray save my life… thank you for Helping me out, when I ask you went out of your way to bring me the thing I needed.  I was so surprize, Happy (Tears) came Rolling down my  Face.  the Guard ask me Jesse you (OK) I say I am in (Heaven)… you are my Best Friend who care you go out of your way and I thank yo. You Best Friend (Jesse)

No big deal for most of us… but these small things, thoughtful gifts, acts of kindness make a lasting and significant impact on the lives of our friends (even Best Friends!).

Question: How has a ‘little kindness’ you’ve done, make a lasting impact?  Briefly, tell me about it…