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Shane’s Story, Episode 5: My Own Place

Shane’s Story is a eight episode blog post where Shane tells her story in her own words.  Each week in December, on Mondays and Thursdays at 8 a.m. you can click on both the radio spot and then read the Episode of this special gal’s story. Tweet it to your friends – it gets better as we get closer to Christmas, and Shane’s special Christmas wish to each of you. Hold tight! it is going to be a great ride! Merry Christmas!”

Listen to a part of her story by clicking the ‘play’ button below, then read the rest of her story in this post:

I got my place last spring.

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The door of Shane’s room the day she moved in. Notice the hole where the door handle should be.

I met this kid panhandling and he lived in the building. I told him I really needed a place. I told him I had a dog and really need somewhere safe and warm to keep him. He told me there was a room available in his rooming house. It was beside his room, and the place was really disgusting.  It was really gross. It’s a building full of bachelors, of addicts and dealers but that’s what you get. There were spiders, cockroaches, bedbugs – but there’s no house centipedes though, and I’m pretty happy about that. None! The room though was an absolute pigsty. There was grime to the point that I had to scrape it off with a knife. There was something that kept coming up off the tile that was really gooey and sticky. Really sticky. You had to scrub it off with hot water.  I don’t know what I was cleaning up there, but it was pretty bad. Once I got it tolerable, I put my stuff in there. It took like two weeks to get it at least decent. That’s like without cleaning the walls or without cleaning the window, or checking under the bed box to see what garbage is under there. I still don’t know. It’s a secret (laughter). The underneath of my bed – I don’t want to know. (laughter)

It’s weird sharing a shower and a toilet with like 20 other people. They pee all over the floor. I have to wear my shoes into the toilet, you have to take toilet paper with you and bring it back with you.

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The floor of Shane’s room.

I’m paying $470 for a tiny little infested room that’s not even up to code. Like one of my windows is not really a window – it’s a board with a nail holding it in place. I had to make my own ‘fixes’ – they wouldn’t put caulking under the box for my bed and the bugs were crawling in and out of there. ‘No, don’t do that to me. I don’t want bugs near my bed’, so I finally got some white duct tape and taped it. They (landlords) don’t really do much.

Bedbugs? Oh yea. Landlord only sprays one room at a time, so each time the landlord sprays one room, the bedbugs that survive just over to the next person’s room. He sprays that room and they crawl upstairs to where it’s safe. They just keep going. We just push them around really. I’m waiting for the time they push them back into my room, ‘cause I’m highly allergic. My face will swell and it’s bad. I had to go to the doctor a couple of times, and get hard core allergy medication.

They’re not in my room now. I had to go out and buy powder that’s safe for animals. I put that on the floor around my bed, and if they come in, they’re dead.

You brush it into the baseboards, and if they try to get in there and hide, they die. It’s pretty bug proof.  Cockroaches though, I don’t know how to get rid of them. They just keep comin’. From my dresser too- I don’t know why ‘cause in there there’s only clean clothes. They’re not in my pantry though. Not even a nuclear bomb will kill them.

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A swollen bed bug bite on Shane’s arm.

Feeling Human

 

I met Ashley last summer. She had just left her parents house and was staying at a downtown shelter. Like many other youth who first come to the streets, she seemed nervous but excited about being out on her own for the first time. She spoke about her life like she was starting a new adventure. But just like other youth, this excitement began to fade as the harsh realities of the street began to set in. Ashley’s hope for the future seemed to fade too….Ashley showed up at the office recently. She was looking thin and exhausted and she had two fresh black eyes. We talked for awhile and she said she was feeling unhealthy, dirty and exhausted. She talked about how badly people were treating her when they passed by her panhandling on the street. Then she looked at me and said “I just don’t feel human anymore.”

It broke my heart to see Ashley losing herself. I spoke with her about the art group and encouraged her to come out to be among people who have experienced similar feelings. Ashley seemed hesitant but she showed up to art group the next week. I showed her around the art room and introduced her to the other youth but she was still looking depressed and exhausted and she sat down to sketch. As the night went on, a beautiful thing happened. Some of the youth sat with Ashley and got to know her. They complimented her art work and helped her find supplies. I was happy to see her making friends. Part way through the night, I noticed that Ashley was gone so I checked the music room. There were some youth and volunteers jamming together on the guitar, piano and drums. To my surprise, Ashley was playing the djembe. She had a huge smile on her face and was completely engaged in the music. At the end of the night, she told me what a great time she had and that she couldn’t wait to come back the following week.

To see the change in Ashley over the course of two hours was amazing. The youth in the art group are so kind and accepting that they make everyone feel welcome. That night, they made Ashley feel human again.

You Take Donations Don’t You?

We came in this morning to find a note from one of the outreach teams that was out last night.  The team had come across a friend in need and they gave him a bottle of water.  He wanted to pay for it, but the team assured him that it wasn’t necessary.  He then asked ‘you take donations don’t you?’  He then passed a loonie to our team as a donation.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this among our community.  So many times, people will come into drop-in and need some item of clothing…a new coat for example to replace one that has grown too big or small.  They don’t simply take a new one, but they leave their coat because they know that someone else could use it.  They give back.  One of our friends came in a couple of weeks ago with a kettle to donate because they had been given another and they didn’t need two.  She said ‘your ministry has been good to me when I’ve needed things…I can give back this way.’

Time and time again…those with the least give the most…

-Kim

Hard to believe, but 2013 marks our 25th Anniversary!

So much has transpired since Susan Brandt and Katrine Coward filled  a couple of knapsacks with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and drinking boxes, and walked the streets seeking to come alongside those who were neglected, abused and in need.  Now, after 25 years we affirm  the faithfulness of God and His care and concern for people experiencing poverty and homelessness!

Here’s what happened last year: 5,000+ visits to our drop in program; 7,600+ connections on the streets; 2,700+ contacts with street-engaged youth; and with five full-time and two part-time staff we leverage our resources with over 100 current, active volunteers on the streets, at our day programs, and behind the scenes.  PLUS an additional 50 volunteers that help on us on an ad hock basis.  What an amazing God – that He would enable us to accomplish so much for His Kingdom!

From humble beginnings we now lead the City in the number of street outreach teams and are well-known for being the people that ‘touch the homeless’ with care and compassion: foot care, chiropractic care, touch care and volunteers caring and interacting with sincerity and love.  Amazing!

STAY TUNED for upcoming events to celebrate our 25th year!!

More beautiful for having been broken…

Recently Moira sent me something that she knew would intrigue me.  It is a picture of a piece of pottery that was broken and then repaired with gold or silver laquer.  It is an art called Kintsukuroi .  When a piece of pottery is broken, what is our first impulse?  To throw it out of course!  To us it’s a useless piece of hard clay now, no longer good for its intended use.  But this art is about taking something broken and making it repairing it ‘understanding that is more beautiful for being broken’.

We are all broken people and then God puts His gold repair on us and makes us more beautiful in our brokenness.  No need to pontificate…the picture says it all…

Where did He call home?

Have you heard the story about the little boy who shared his lunch with a homeless man?  The little boy had found the older man in a park and was so enthralled with this man’s beautiful smile that the boy apparently had no fear of him, sat next to him for an extended period of time and shared his bologna sandwich and cookies.  Later, when his mother had asked the little boy what he had done that day, the little boy answered, “Today, I shared my lunch with Jesus!”

Now, this is NOT a real story….I don’t think….but yet there is something so interesting in it that I’ve taken it a bit to heart.  It has made me think about the face of homelessness from Jesus’ perspective.  You know, when you think of it, Jesus was homeless through much of his life. Oh sure, he sounds as if he had a home growing up but once he went into ministry, he was effectively homeless.  Nowhere in scripture does it say that after a busy day of healing the sick and lame and preaching the good news to the masses, Jesus went HOME and spent a lovely evening in front of the fireplace, with his newspaper and hot tea.  Nope, not our Savior.  He “couched surfed”, much like the guys we serve here at OIM.  He spent time in the homes of people who could put him up for a night, or two.  Or, he laid his precious head down where he could….under a large tree maybe?  Or in a garden perhaps?  Maybe next to a city wall or other structure somewhere?

It makes me wonder a little…..what if Jesus came today?  Where would he sleep?  Shoved uncomfortably into a store doorway maybe?  A dark, smelly, dangerous alley perhaps?  Or, maybe a dirty recycling bin typically made for cardboard?  Would a little boy share his lunch with HIM?  Would you?  Would I?  Kind of makes you think a little, doesn’t it?  It should…..

-Erin

“I hope we’re the only ones with cold toes tonight”

Volunteering with OIM has introduced me to many new experiences, some sad, but most of them great! One defies categorization, however. That is, the desire to NOT see a dear friend. I mean, this is something that lots of people experience fairly regularly, if you’re having a fight with a spouse, or feeling guilty about what you said to a friend, you may try to avoid them, or hope not to see them for a few days, or something.

But say everything is going really well in a relationship – usually you want to see that person! And look forward to it! But some days, especially REALLY COLD days (of which we’ve been having a fair number recently) I find myself thinking: “Oh, I hope I don’t see Bob tonight.” Not because I don’t like Bob, but precisely because I do! But I want Bob to be someplace warm and safe, not out on the street. Sometimes, as an Outreach team, we find ourselves praying together before going out: “Dear Lord, I hope we don’t see any of our street friends tonight. I hope our sandwiches go completely wasted. I hope we’re the only ones with cold toes tonight. Amen.”

This is a small thing, but one more example of how poverty twists relationships: we shouldn’t be in situations where we find ourselves praying that we DON’T get the chance to spend time with someone we love.

-Jeff

The Longest Wait…

…for some of our street friends at least: from December 20 or 23 to the end of January.  It’s the longest time of the year to make your BIG $531 welfare cheque last – PLUS whatever you might spend at Christmas.  Right at this time of the year and this day of the month it is most difficult. You could almost taste the stress and anxiety at the drop in today.  Tempers flared several times, and one of our guests refused to leave when asked.

I hate when that happens. There is so much ‘stuff’ happening in our friends’ lives that they certainly do not need any additional woes: they are cold, wearing soaking wet running shoes, inadequate clothing for the weather, they have no one to talk to really, and no one to care for them.  They have no-where to go.  They really are just trying to manage themselves to get through another day.  No money. Some have on-going health issues. No home, for many.

Then there is a flair up with someone across the table – an altercation – with someone who is also experiencing all of those same troubles and with a short temper, and both parties get to take the ‘day off’.  ‘Day off’ means you can’t stay here today: I have to send you out into the cold, the wet, the loneliness and the cold concrete jungle of the city. What? Won’t go? Well if not, we have no choice but to call the police to escort you out – just for today sure, but that doesn’t mean much when ‘today’ is all you really have.

It sucks.

I know it has to be done – keeping peace within the drop in, showing respect for others, respect for what we’re doing, and on and on and on …  I know.

It still sucks.

-Ken

Taking time to remember

Yesterday, we held our annual memorial service at drop-in to remember those in our street community who passed away in 2012.  Often times we don’t know the legal names of our friends, but as we paused and lit a candle for those 32 people on our list, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was someone that I knew.  It was a sober thought that the candle I was lighting for a name I didn’t know, could be for someone I have been wondering where they had disappeared to…

In those quiet, candle-lit moments, we didn’t need to put a face to the name.  That would be nice, but more important was that we take a moment to recognize that each life is treasured by God and has value.  God knows each face and each name and it was our privilege to take time to remember…

-Kim

You are LATE!!

 Four weeks after Christmas and you are late!

Yes, we are, with good intention, for several reasons: right around the time of Christmas, there can be as many as 18 (yes, eighteen!) dinners and then January comes and basically everyone disappears. I don’t think folks forget about the homeless necessarily, but holiday fatigue (exhaustion for most) sets in as our bodies recover from our own Christmases and we try to dig ourselves out of the snow – hopefully in time for Easter.  Then there’s the ‘winter blues’ when some of us who are in survival mode, are just try to make it through to spring.

Yet, the third week of January is a GREAT time for a dinner and celebration, for the same reasons mentioned above.  Additionally, street-engaged folk receive their cheques on December 23rd – in time for Christmas, but it’s a long time before the next cheque at the end of January!  Just about that time of the year, with five weeks (and counting) since the December cheque and one more week to go until the January’s, a special dinner is a real treat!

The responses to the January Christmas dinner have always been exceptional!  People soooo appreciate the great meal, the warm smiles of a virtual army of volunteers serving and helping, children volunteering alongside their parents, and a sense of something special just for them… it’s heartwarming and encouraging!

There is something very special about the “Thank you’s” we receive from our guests who have nothing to give in return, who habitually feel like a ‘zero without the rim”, and who have limited or no resources. These “Thank you’s” are sincere, heartfelt and are to be listened with attentiveness and careful thought.  Receiving such words of gratitude move us deeply and quickly to our own thankfulness for the blessings that we ourselves have received, from God and also from our friends.

Looking for a noble thing to do to ‘break out’ from the winter blues, post Christmas fatigue and the January doldrums?  Donate a cooked turkey. Come serve a meal. Get ready to ask, “Apple pie or pumpkin?” Then get ready for the most sincere ‘Thank you’s’ that you have ever received.

Question: Ever had this kind of experience before?  What was it like for you?

-Ken